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4 definitions by iowabuckeyes

 
1.
A mathematical equation to determine the age of a man's second wife: you take the man's physical age divided by two plus 7 years and that will be his second wife's age. The rule is also true to women who are first-time widows or divorcees but in reverse: Take her age, subtract seven years and multiply by two and that's the age, plus or minus a few years, of her second husband. If she's 44, she should start hanging out at nursing homes and VFW lodges because her next husband will be in his 70s. (You have to allow greater margin of error the older a woman's second husband's likely to be.) The problem is there are more women who are divorced in their 40s and 50s than there are single men in their 60s and 70s. Hence, further validation of the line in "Sleepless in Seattle" that "it's easier for a woman to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40."
Jessie: I just found out no account my ex-husband's dating a woman who's 29.
Kevin: How old is he?
Jessie: 44
Kevin: Well, according to the so-called 2nd Wife Rule, which takes half his age, which is 22, plus seven years, which is 29, she's the exact age he should be dating.
Jessie: That lousy bastard! Well, two can play that game. I'm going to find me a 29 year old stud.
Kevin: Sorry, sweetie but that cougar don't hunt. Your search demographic is in their 70s.
Jessie: Then they better be rich!
Kevin: Probably not. If they were, they'd be tapping the 29 year old, too. Via Viagara!
by iowabuckeyes March 25, 2011
15 12
 
2.
Having an affair, specifically one that exists almost solely for sex.
His girlfriend thinks they're in a monogamous relationship but she is completely unaware of his sextracurricular activities.
by iowabuckeyes January 11, 2010
2 2
 
3.
The hottie in the cubicle next to yours.
Hey, can you hang on a sec? My cuticle's on the other line and I'm hoping she's drunk and maybe looking for a little sumpin' sumpin'. That's some company ink I wouldn't mind dipping my pen into!
by iowabuckeyes March 25, 2011
4 19
 
4.
The unslightly chunks of snow, slush and icicles that accumulate around the wheels, flaps and dangle underneath the chassis in the winter.
Man, I hate winter! Especially when I get dingleberries on my car that leave a pool of water in my garage when they melt.
by iowabuckeyes January 26, 2010
3 18