a lame store for posers that, like abercrombie, smells like vomit (hollister cologne), employs social rejects with nice hair and faux tans, and sells fake vintage clothes with made-up events on them. except worse because when you're in there it feels like you're in a cave.
"jesus since when is there a cave attached to the mall?"
"no this is just hollister"
"i can't see my hand"
"did you really go to the 1982 pie eating contest of salmonville, west virginia?"
"no, i wish. so instead i got this shirt at hollister."