1. When you are about to watch porn, and right as the video loads, you get an Instant Message (AIM, MSN, YAHOO, etc) that blocks the video.
2. The same instance of getting an IM, but right as you start to orgasm from masturbating while watching porn.
Oh my god, I was watching some great lesbian porn when I got e-cockblocked by my friend!
The Texas Chili Bomb is a fabled tale thought only to be the story of legends, however some believe it was accomplished once before.
The process goes as follows:
1. A prison cauldron is needed to cook the chili. The chili is made with 5 pounds of ground beef, 1 pound of baked beans, and taco seasoning to your liking. You fill the cauldron with these ingredients and then your party of men must take turns shitting into the pot. (10+ men required). Now fill the pot with water until it is full.
2. Slow cook the chili for several hours until everything is a paste. After about 6 hours of simmering cooking, add 2 pounds of sour cream to thicken the chili. Let it cool to room temperature.
3. Now, the members who shit into the cauldron must now take turn to cum into the chili and let it form thick layer on top and start to curdle. Now the chili must sit in this state for at least 3 days.
4. A female must now get on the floor with one guy on each side of her and get fucked in both her pussy and ass. A devious fourth person runs up and dumps the chili all over them. Next, the two guys start pounding into the girl's pussy/ass as hard as possible while rubbing the Chili all over her and in her mouth.
5. At the moment of the Chili dump, all the members who took turns shitting in the cooking pot get to run a fast bukkake over the threesome group. After, the men all light up various fireworks and shoot them into the sky, signaling the birth of a Texas Chili Bomb.
Or so it is told...
"Did you hear all those firecrackers last night?"
-"Yeah man, it sounded like a Texas Chili Bomb so I-"
"Shh! Don't even pretend that's what it was!"
-"Oh fuck dude, thanks for catching me. That doesn't even exist..."
When you buy a pack of condoms on purpose to distract the cashier from the other products you are purchasing.
I need to buy some red thongs and rope.
Dude the cashier is going to think you're weird.
It's okay man, I'll buy some distraction condoms so she won't think about the other things I'm buying.