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8 definitions by hipsterjew

 
1.
A foxy looking Hebrew with wide hips for continuing the faith.
AePi Bro #1: Who's the smokin' JILF?
AePi Bro #2: That's my sister.
Bro #1: I'd like to show her my 'Woody Allen'
Bro #2: Dude....she's 14. Not cool.
by hipsterjew March 22, 2010
 
2.
A Jewish nerd with an erection
Jonah looked around the room as he entered his advanced calculus class. He quickly sat down at an empty seat in an attempt to hide his woody allen.
by hipsterjew April 07, 2010
 
3.
Known short for JMS, it is an affliction where generally young, Jewish women begin taking on many characteristics of a married, older Jewish mother.
Avi: I think my girlfriend has Jewish Mother Syndrome.
Chaim: What would make you say that?
Avi: Well when I don't eat her cooking she guilts me by asking if I think I'm too good for her.
Chaim: Bummer, man. Dump her for a shiksa.
by hipsterjew March 15, 2010
 
4.
An exclusive gathering of male Jews
Josh: We are going up to Queens to see the Mets - Sox game. You coming?
Ari: Can I bring my roommate?
Josh: Sorry man, we're gonna keep it circumcised.
by hipsterjew March 09, 2010
 
5.
A figurative card used by Jews to guilt people/get out of a situation.
David: Ms. Stewart, I can't take the test tomorrow because --

Ms. Stewart: (Sighs) Lemme guess. You have ANOTHER Jewish holiday this week?

David: Actually, no. I'm just going on a vacation to Florida. I'm not using my Jew Card this time...
by hipsterjew October 31, 2010
 
6.
Not a real Jew, just plays one in the movies. Sometimes directors need an actor whom the audience will immediately recognize as Jewish, but isn't in real life, because, hey, who doesn't like to discriminate where it counts?
Ben Kingsley is the biggest Movie Jew I've ever seen. John Turturro is a close second.
by hipsterjew April 01, 2010
 
7.
An ironic Hanukkah for Hipster Jews.
Adam's parents were terribly disappointed when they learned he'd be celebrating Ironukkah this holiday season. They had had enough with his 3-year stint celebrating Kwanza.
by hipsterjew December 01, 2010