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8 definitions by hipsterjew

 
1.
A foxy looking Hebrew with wide hips for continuing the faith.
AePi Bro #1: Who's the smokin' JILF?
AePi Bro #2: That's my sister.
Bro #1: I'd like to show her my 'Woody Allen'
Bro #2: Dude....she's 14. Not cool.
by hipsterjew March 22, 2010
101 24
 
2.
A Jewish nerd with an erection
Jonah looked around the room as he entered his advanced calculus class. He quickly sat down at an empty seat in an attempt to hide his woody allen.
by hipsterjew April 07, 2010
70 26
 
3.
Known short for JMS, it is an affliction where generally young, Jewish women begin taking on many characteristics of a married, older Jewish mother.
Avi: I think my girlfriend has Jewish Mother Syndrome.
Chaim: What would make you say that?
Avi: Well when I don't eat her cooking she guilts me by asking if I think I'm too good for her.
Chaim: Bummer, man. Dump her for a shiksa.
by hipsterjew March 15, 2010
38 8
 
4.
An exclusive gathering of male Jews
Josh: We are going up to Queens to see the Mets - Sox game. You coming?
Ari: Can I bring my roommate?
Josh: Sorry man, we're gonna keep it circumcised.
by hipsterjew March 09, 2010
38 8
 
5.
A figurative card used by Jews to guilt people/get out of a situation.
David: Ms. Stewart, I can't take the test tomorrow because --

Ms. Stewart: (Sighs) Lemme guess. You have ANOTHER Jewish holiday this week?

David: Actually, no. I'm just going on a vacation to Florida. I'm not using my Jew Card this time...
by hipsterjew October 31, 2010
39 15
 
6.
Not a real Jew, just plays one in the movies. Sometimes directors need an actor whom the audience will immediately recognize as Jewish, but isn't in real life, because, hey, who doesn't like to discriminate where it counts?
Ben Kingsley is the biggest Movie Jew I've ever seen. John Turturro is a close second.
by hipsterjew April 01, 2010
19 2
 
7.
A bro of Hebrew origins, usually involved in Jewish Greek life, ex. AEPi.
Hebro 1: Hey bro, you going to the kegger at Delta Lamda tonight?
Hebro 2: You know it bro. Shits gonna be off the hook! (High fives)
Hebro 1: Alright. Well lets pregame during Shabbat dinner at Hillel.
by hipsterjew October 17, 2010
19 5