A hipstermobile is a form of ironic transportation, used primarily to transport two people -- usually a hipster and his or her iPhone -- between various locales or events that the hipster deems to be important. It is a type of bicycle, specifically of a single speed with fixed gears, also known as a "fixie". Often, the bicycle chassis is painted over with a single solid color using spray paint. This eliminates the brand name from the bicycle, which might otherwise clash with the hispter's "local is better" ethos, and also because the spray paint amplifies the hipster's urban-chic identity.
The hipster sits on a banana seat closer to the rear wheel of the hipstermobile while the iPhone sits on the handlebar in a specially-designed mount, available through Amazon.com. Whilst pedalling the hipstermobile, the hipster will issue voice commands to the iPhone. Typical commands include:
"Take a photo of this ironic building and post it to my Tumblr."
"Use Wikipedia to find a virtually unknown folk band from circa 1982 and then Tweet it to everyone who follows me."
"Is there a free BYOB arts & crafts festival in a two-mile radius of my current location?"
"Go into my draft folder and send that plea for more money to my parents."
Hipstermobiles are often spotted near cafes and post-gentrification diners, near arts & crafts festivals, and in parks during normal peoples' working hours.
Dude, I just saw a grown man sitting on the curb crying. He looked to be cradling an iPhone that had fallen to its death from the handlebar of his hipstermobile. He couldn't even update his status to tell anyone about what had happened!
When two hipsters use telepathy to declare a romantic interest in one another. Words, a peck on the cheek, a reassuring touch, or even a simple smile would betray emotion, thereby running the risk that onlookers might suspect the two hipsters are enjoying the moment truthfully (rather than ironically).
"Lars, do you see how Marius and Clementine are staring coldly at one another from across the room, without speaking or motion of any kind? Do you see how dead her eyes look behind those turquoise spectacles?"
"Yes, Niko, I do. What's their deal?"
"It's a hipster kiss. They'll be engaged as quickly as you can Tweet 'Free art show! BYOB!!' "
"In a few days" is a phrase used to convey reassurance and hope after a bad turn of events or the development of an less-than-ideal situation. It is meant to suggest that the situation will resolve itself on its own within a short period of time (although perhaps not necessarily a "few days"). It thereby implies that the suffering caused by the bad turn of events will also be relieved shortly. Often, the phrase is used without any real knowledge that the situation will in fact resolve. Sometimes it is used by an annoyed friend simply to placate the affected person.
"Marcy and I had a terrible fight. She smashed up the kitchen, took all our savings, and jumped in the truck and just drove off. What am I going to do??"
"Calm down. She loves you. I'm sure she will come crawling back in a few days."
"I can't believe it! My boss fired me this morning, in front of everyone! He told me to clean out my desk and hand in my keys! He asked security to escort me out!"
"I'm sure it'll blow over in a few days."
"DUDE, what on Earth happened last night?? When I woke up, my head was in the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink, my back has been shaved, and my face and chest are crusted over with boils!"
"I have no idea buddy, but don't sweat it. I'm sure they'll clear up in a few days."