14 definitions by hipster_of_the_month

A hipster mullet is a hairstyle or hairdo, similar in volume to the rockabilly mullets sported by country legend Billy Ray Cyrus and TV star Richard Dean Anderson (better known as MacGyver) in the early 90s. The hipster mullet is an updated version of the rockabilly mullet, but infused with "alternative" elements such as neon highlights or extreme differentials between the length of the mullet piece (hair at top of head) and the hair on the sides and back of head, which might be shaved down to mere stubble. By shaving the back and sides down, the mullet piece is emphasized, thereby increasing the irony of the hairdo.

The hipster mullet has been adopted by hipster males and females alike. While a male hipster mullet and a female hipster mullet are similar, a male hipster mullet is often accompanied by additional moustaches, moustachios, beards, goatees, chinstraps, and designer stubble. For both males and females, the hipster mullet is typically accented by "larger than life" sun spectacles, worn at all times of year and in all light levels. Stiegl and Pabst are thought to provide nutrients such as provitamin B5 that improve mullet volume and sheen.

The hipster mullet is best observed in urban parks, in independent cafes, at alternative music gigs, and at college art shows, during the working hours of non-hipsters.

The hipster mullet is closely related to other updated hairstyles, such as the hipster mohawk and the hipster rattail.
"Daschiell, did you read my Tweet from five minutes ago??"

"Sorry Sabine, I'm still trying to update my blog on the weak wi-fi signal that everyone in this independent cafe is stealing from the Starbucks nextdoor. What was your Tweet about?"

"It was about how Bitsy and Flavius are sporting matching hipster mullets today! They are practically identical, except for the purple curls in hers and the neck beard growing out of his!"

"I hope they didn't see that you called them hipsters! They'll go apoplectic!"
by hipster_of_the_month May 08, 2013

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A photo-sharing platform and app used mainly for its post-processing filters and effects. Intragram's user base consists mainly of hipsters.

Instragram is the early 2010s version of the "sepia pandemic" of the late 1990s and early 2000s, when digital cameras were considered new and their users applied the sepia filter gratuitously.
"Take a look at this 1980s polaroid of graffiti that someone scanned!"

"Dude, that's just an Instagram photo of a wall in downtown Toronto in 2013."
by hipster_of_the_month May 08, 2013

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When two hipsters use telepathy to declare a romantic interest in one another. Words, a peck on the cheek, a reassuring touch, or even a simple smile would betray emotion, thereby running the risk that onlookers might suspect the two hipsters are enjoying the moment truthfully (rather than ironically).
"Lars, do you see how Marius and Clementine are staring coldly at one another from across the room, without speaking or motion of any kind? Do you see how dead her eyes look behind those turquoise spectacles?"

"Yes, Niko, I do. What's their deal?"

"It's a hipster kiss. They'll be engaged as quickly as you can Tweet 'Free art show! BYOB!!' "
by hipster_of_the_month January 14, 2013

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An expression of condemnation or exasperation uttered by someone (typically a non-hipster) after a hipster has done or said something ill-advised.
"Did you hear that Humphrey got Tulip preggers after he accidentally put on one of the rubber balloons left over from his balloon portrait of Bjork embracing Madonna, instead of a condom?"

"Hipstake!"
by hipster_of_the_month May 07, 2013

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A hipstermobile is a form of ironic transportation, used primarily to transport two people -- usually a hipster and his or her iPhone -- between various locales or events that the hipster deems to be important. It is a type of bicycle, specifically of a single speed with fixed gears, also known as a "fixie". Often, the bicycle chassis is painted over with a single solid color using spray paint. This eliminates the brand name from the bicycle, which might otherwise clash with the hispter's "local is better" ethos, and also because the spray paint amplifies the hipster's urban-chic identity.

The hipster sits on a banana seat closer to the rear wheel of the hipstermobile while the iPhone sits on the handlebar in a specially-designed mount, available through Amazon.com. Whilst pedalling the hipstermobile, the hipster will issue voice commands to the iPhone. Typical commands include:

"Take a photo of this ironic building and post it to my Tumblr."
"Use Wikipedia to find a virtually unknown folk band from circa 1982 and then Tweet it to everyone who follows me."
"Is there a free BYOB arts & crafts festival in a two-mile radius of my current location?"
"Go into my draft folder and send that plea for more money to my parents."

Hipstermobiles are often spotted near cafes and post-gentrification diners, near arts & crafts festivals, and in parks during normal peoples' working hours.
Dude, I just saw a grown man sitting on the curb crying. He looked to be cradling an iPhone that had fallen to its death from the handlebar of his hipstermobile. He couldn't even update his status to tell anyone about what had happened!
by hipster_of_the_month May 06, 2013

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The act of purchasing a phone card in the 21st Century.
"Why is Tom still in that convenience store? He's got the lottery tickets and chips that he went in for."

"He wants to ask the guy behind the counter if they're still selling long-distance phone cards."

"Why?"

"I guess for phoning the 90s. It's where he left his common sense."
by hipster_of_the_month May 09, 2013

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A museophreniac is an individual suffering from museophrenia, a type of recurring delusional disorder in which the affected person believes that the band Muse is very talented.
"Dude, this chick I'm seeing is iceberg-melting hot, but she listens to Muse all day and all night and talks about how they invented classical music and other bogus shit."

"A museophreniac! Dump her ass before you get it too! There's no cure!"
by hipster_of_the_month May 23, 2013

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