9 definitions by hello world champion

Top Definition
SPECIES - Redtards are a group of carnivorous homo sapiens in the genus Mullet family. They reside in the southern USA, are highly territorial, prefer open grassland, high fructose corn syrup and have an inverted mathematical relationship between their years of education and the number of offspring they bear.

CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.

MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.

MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
Glen Beck is such a redtard! He said that the recent snow in his front yard must be "global cooling" because global warming is a scam.
by hello world champion February 10, 2010
The term for a boozy, salesy, replacement CEO of a successful tech-startup, who marches in and thinks that he has a grand vision for the future insofar as he attaches the word "cloud" to every sentence.

Such an exec is also technically inept and cannot even type or use any modern day interfaces including mice, keyboards, or phones -- in fact, may often refer to the company's key technology as "okiedokie 9000". Srsly.

Disproportionate use of modern terms such as: cloud, sas, vision, how it works in the big leagues, juxtaposed with antiquated terms such as "boof", "let's make squillions of dollars", and "damn yanks" make a cloudcloud a very interesting cloud indeed.
OMG, here comes cloudcloud again to tell us how his big vision is to take our company into the cloud, cloudcloud, sass, tuna cloud and make squillions of dollars. We are going public!!! Woohooo!
by hello world champion March 24, 2011
(a play on the overused/abused new-age pseudo-spiritual term "manifest")

The practice of focusing all your mental energy so intensely and so powerfully on something that you desire so strongly that you actually accomplish... thinking about it.
Last night, I brought out my fav 15 amethyst power crystals, laid them on my floor in the pattern of eternal truth along with their sage and incense counterparts. Then, I performed my normal goddess ceremony which included 18 minutes of Buddhist chanting and intermittent weeping. Finally, I was ready. I entered into the lotus pose, closed my eyes, pushed out the monkey mind, and... began to mafinest. It came slowly at first and then... BOOM... I did it: I mafinested my new self, my new life, my new everything. I am so excited about my... *sob*... future.
by hello world champion October 08, 2011
akin to how a pig truffles in the forest for the famously hard to find truffle mushroom, "ass-truffling" is the act of snorfling around in the drawers of your lover looking for dingle berry gifts to sniff and chew.

Your average ass-truffler will make grunting noises followed by squeals of delight when treasures are unearthed.
*ew ew ew* *get away get away get away* help meeee, this guy I brought home from the bar is ass-truffling meeeeeeeeee!!!!

*smacks him unconscious*
by hello world champion March 22, 2011
That mind blowing, cerebellum crashing moment after finishing sex with a gorgeous transexual when you realize that everything you ever thought you knew about "gay" and "straight" will never make sense again.
Hey, remember that bangin' blonde I took home from the bar last night? Oh, yah, we got it on. Was it hot? OMFG, yah. I don't kiss and tell, but let's just say I had my first trannyscendental experience.
by hello world champion October 31, 2011
A combination of sniffing, snorting, and truffling. Often used in regard to various body orifices, particularly ones below the belt.

Can also be done in a bed under the blanket or in the dark with loud grunting sounds.
Zooooomagawd, we came home drunk from the bar, and this guy was like totally snorfling my vadge. I had to smack him unconscious.
by hello world champion April 07, 2011
The rare ability for a woman to suck the cum out of a man's cock as fast as he is able to blow his load. (caution: the man may scream, gargle, or black-out)
T'was throwin' a few back at ye old pub and locked me eyes with a big jawed beauty. Said to me mate: Ahoy, look at the mandibles on that thing -- that one there's a bonegulper!
by hello world champion October 15, 2011

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