Mactard; as in 'retard'
A computer user with 3 fingers and a thumb stuck up their arse, and therefore only needing one button on the mouse.
Frank: "I can't cope with all these buttons on yer mouse"
Steve: "well pull the rest of yer fingers out 'yer arse you fuckin' MACTARD"
as in "farting about": A series a needless/inane tasks which are undertaken by the 'parper' prior to going to the pub/cinema/airport etc... such as reorganising the location of house keys, tobacco, lighter in ones bag/pockets for no real reason, checking each room in the house for no reason, indesision of which scarf/hat to wear, whether to take a hat/scarf or not, and which bag to put them in, if taken. Which ultimately results in missing the 1st 15 minutes of the film, missing the flight etc... (it's a chick thing!)
Dave: "c'mon Olive, the films starts in 10 minutes"
Olive: "I'm coming, two minutes"
Dave: "c'mon Olive, the films starts in 5 minutes"
Olive: "I'm coming, one minute"
Dave: "c'mon Olive, the films starting"
Olive: "We're going to miss the start!"
Dave: "well if you didn't spend so much time parping around we'd have got there on time"
The feelng of distrust and discomfort that drunk people have around sober people. This could mean people that they live with or come across in social situations. The desire is to force the sober dude to have some drinks to catch up. This, in theory, should enable "common ground" to be established.
"Gez, have a tinnie, go on just one, go on, have a tinnie!"
Gez "Nah, I'm ok"
Anna "Oooh, go on gez, I've had a drink, go on, have a tinnie."
Dave "Blinkin' Nelly, I think Anna's got soberphobia!"