A creature of the night, a Durphy can be seen roaming the streets, preying on ugly Lehigh girls. Tactics include using said girls' camera to capture in-depth images of his dick sack region, stealing their alcohol, throwing their board games and food in the street for no reason, and belittling their perceived sexual abilities.
Durphys may exhibit a few physical symptoms. One symptom can be found in the eyes. If the subject's eyes appear to be glazed over, with the white part now a deep black color, you may be dealing with a Durphy. If the subject is usually known for being kind, caring, and considerate but now appears to be abrasive, offensive, and aggressive, you may be dealing with a Durphy.
To prevent a Durphy, avoid the drinking of any brown liquor. Once Durphy has emerged, the only way to stop it is to kill it. Use a firearm of no less than a .30 caliber, as smaller calibers will only provoke a Durphy. If using a shotgun stick with gauges 12 and above. Again, smaller sizes will only make Durphy more angry.
Me: Nah man. It's four in the morning. We've been drinking for 11 hours now. I'm going to bed. You should do the same.
Durphy: O, should I? Yes sir, whatever you say, sir. Hey why don't you go sit on a broom or something, pussy.
Me: Whatever, bro.
Durphy: No, not whatever. You're a fucking pussy dude.
Murphy: Dude, what happened last night? Somewhere after the two consecutive power hours and 15 shots of Jack, things just kinda went blank. I'm pretty sure I stole those chicks alcohol after I told them how nasty they all are.
Me: Goddamn man, I think we may have seen Durphy.
Murphy: O fuck me.