10 definitions by gruzzo

Top Definition
A balding middle-aged middle manager who leches after young female members of staff. Can often be seen leaving the disabled toilets with a dodgy grin and soiled fly-zip region.
Cor blimey, I just saw that old waggler take a picture of young Sally into the bogs!
by Gruzzo July 18, 2006
An exceptionally massive and nutty turd. This type of jobbie has been known to crack lavatory bowls and is a subspecies of the Guatemalan depth charge.
Oh man I just let a nutty bratwurst go. If you hear a noise in the night it'll be my sphincter snapping back into place.
by Gruzzo July 17, 2006
A truly immense civil servant who treats her workers like school children. Sexually-frustrated and probably a virgin.
The big VC is such a nasty cow because she never gets any cock.
by Gruzzo July 17, 2006
To telephone a farmer and terrify the poor fellow with a fruity drag-queen rant.
Farmer Keith: "Ooh I tell you, Clive, I daren't answer the bloody phone any more in case its someone wanting to Briggsy me."
by Gruzzo July 11, 2006
A chav who, on catching a bus, walks all the way to the back seat of the top deck and then gets off at the next stop. These morons end up walking further by doing this than they would if they walked to the next stop. And they pay for the privilege. This must seriously deplete their McDonald's money.
Look at that gormless cretin going upstairs for one stop.
What the fuck?!!
Its a One-Stop Retard Chav.
That explains it.
by Gruzzo August 23, 2006
Generic name for a scrawny grotesque woman who works in a coffee bar but has no idea how to actually make coffee. The only thing she is good at is short-changing Spaniards.
Fetch me a latte. If Mrs Mop's serving, forget it. That gormless bitch wouldn't know a coffee if it jumped out the cup and fucked her shitty old arse.
by Gruzzo October 18, 2006
A man who receives more Christmas or birthday cards is angrily labelled this by his jealous, childish wife.
Flared-nostrilled jealous, childish wife: "Someone's become a cardaholic!"
by Gruzzo July 20, 2006

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