28 definitions by gregjockca

Top Definition
Manitoba is ridiculed by Canadians from other provinces, particularly grown adults who live with their mommy and daddy, as "the armpit of Canada". It is however completely ignored by Americans altogether who aren't sure whether it is a province or a kind of martini.

It is one of the five "forgotten provinces" (the others being Saskatchewan, Nova Scotia, PEI and Newfoundland). It's capital is Winnipeg (or "The Peg"). All Winnipegers will tell you that the city is named after Winnie the Pooh.

Some do not recognize Manitoba as a valid province because moose outnumber people five to one. These people have therefore merged it with the neighbouring forgotten province, Saskatchewan, to form a megasuperprovince called "Saskitoba". It's capital would therefore be the megasupercity of "Winnigina", pronounced win-nuh-JAH-ee-nuh.

Fun Factoids about Manitoba
---------------------------
* Manitoba can range from +40C (as in New Delhi) to -40C (as in Antarctica) so most bums either fry onto the pavement in the summer or freeze to death in the winter. The snow trucks and streetsweepers manage to scoop most of their body parts away.
* Manitoba is the first province to give women the vote (way back in 1916) which is why you don't even wanna THINK about fucking with Manitoba chicks. They will slice you.
* At just over a million people, the population is far too low to have a murder rating. One murder to a Manitoban would be like... the holocaust. So it just doesn't happen despite the myths you've heard.
* Most Manitobans live only in its capital, Winnipeg, and three-quarters of Manitoba is a superlarge Indian reservation. Oddly enough, casinos are everywhere but this may be an unrelated phenomenon.
* Manitobans made seperatism and speaking French cool before it became the fashion in Quebec.
* Some drunken half-Native, half-French dude named Louis Riel founded Manitoba. He kicked major whitey ass. He would slice you too just like the Manitoban chicks if you pissed him off.
* Manitobans speak a unique dialect of English which is a special blend of French, Ukrainian and Elvish. Eg: "Borrow me that book" means "Lend me that book". "This city sucks!" means "I really love my motherland!".
* The main religion is Goth. Second is atheism.
* Cool Manitobans live in a place called "Osborne Village" which is filled with gays, hippies, goths and s&m rubber fetishists.
* While Northern Manitoba may very well have igloos, the Greater Winnipeg area has real buildings made of materials other than ice, like wood, stone and concrete.
* Licence plates read "Friendly Manitoba" and they _are_ friendly to everyone except the KKK and snobby brats with a silver spoon in their mouths and who have fake dyed blond hair who came from Vancouver and then complain that they hate being stuck in Winnipeg because it's nothing like Vancouver, blah, blah, blah, go die.

Overall, rather than being the stinky butthole of the country, it is an unappreciated jewel trapped in the bowels of the remote prairie nougat core of North America.
"Manitoba... is that a drink?"
"Is Manitoba even real? People live there??"
"No, you're joshing me, right? 'Manitoba' is made up. You made that all up. You joker, you're such a joker."
by gregjockca May 19, 2007
A fun combination of Satan and Jesus Christ, worshipped as the sole all-powerful homocidal sociopathic meta-being who is both evil and good, who enjoys both our joy and our suffering and who wishes both life and death upon us. Amen.
I believe in the lord Satan Christ, bringer of joy and woe. Hallelujah! Can I hear an amen?!
by gregjockca October 12, 2010
The term used to refer to the corrupt corporatized internet used till the 2020s before its "death" at the hands of the general global revolt against all forms of socio-economic, religious and political corruption. The internet increasingly came to be seen as a tool of government indoctrination, increasingly distrusted. Rebel techs began experimenting with peer-to-peer technologies to create a decentralized system of information exchange over large regions.

Eventually these competing internet systems were synched up into a single collective-managed standard known as the Alternet. Once the stateless Alternet system went global, a new politico-economy was forged to effect DIRECT DEMOCRACY.

This finally abolished the oppressive one-metric capitalist and socialist systems of old, both of which benefited only an unseen global elite. It also did away with the ineffectual political system that employed middlemen know as "politicians" to represent people only indirectly. It was by this point then that sociopathy could finally be isolated and treated early instead of allowing the few to cause mass suffering on the many. The purging of this large-scale corruption finally cultivated massive innovation in ecological management which if left unchecked would have ruined the planet's ability to support most forms of life including our own.

The term also alludes to the global holocaust of the poor during the height of the system, at its downfall and during the societal chaos that ensued.
I can't believe people in the turn of the century put so much blind trust in the Deadnet in the days of corporatism. How did it get so bad? I'm glad we made it.
by gregjockca November 18, 2011
Short for "Manitoba", one of the five "forgotten provinces" of Canada (others being PEI, Newfoundland, Saskatchewan and Nova Scotia). It can be used as a noun or adjective.
"I went back to Toba, my motherland, for the summer to visit my mennonite cousins. Still nothing there but moose and goths. But at least they have booze and I got totally shit-plastered."
by gregjockca May 19, 2007
A pedicure with your teeth.

Some people are flexible enough to perform this delicate operation on their own but most need help from a very loyal friend. With the downturn in the American economy, pedimunching is becoming a valuable alternative to lavish salon prices and it's also full of vitamins.
Suzie, can you help me? My feet are rough somethin' fierce and their aching for a good pedimunch. You're a loyal friend, aren't you, Suzie? Suzie?... SUZIE??! Come back, Suzie!!!
by gregjockca August 28, 2010
LiferMao is a form of digiMao exihibited specifically by "Lifers" who are participants of the Second Life 3D-fantasy forums.
"That tard avatar over there is soooo fugly. I just hate her. I'm gonna get 15 of my Lifer friends and liferMao her off our island before I gag on my attachment silver spoon."
by gregjockca May 19, 2007
The deadly combo of sexy and sassy.
Shit. That techno is SAXXXY, yo!
by gregjockca September 06, 2010

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×