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180 definitions by gnostic1

Exuberant exhortation shouted at the skips during curling sets at the end of each over just before the corn broomers put their rings in the house.

Hurry hard! The shot rock is going to wreck on a slug!

You weren't hurrying hard; you were hardly hurrying.
by gnostic1 October 05, 2011
n. two or three holes "hacked" into the ice at each end of an ice curling rink to give the sweepers somewhere to rest their brooms. Also:

v. what smokers do while curling, which is one of the few Olympic sports where smoking is allowed during the game.

Throw some end-raise take-out weight and I'll sweep from the hack!

Hurry hard!
by gnostic1 October 03, 2011
n. Originally a person employed to dig small holes or move gravel from place to place but now used in an unflattering manner to describe office or retail workers on low rungs.

If there's too many boxes to unpack just get a couple of shovel monkeys to help.

Really? Wow! I thought I was a shovel monkey.

You are, but today you can have some lesser shovel monkeys to boss around. No flicking feces at them though.
by gnostic1 September 16, 2011
place. Slightly weathered settlement devoid of any big-hamlet pretensions situated in the bouldering belt of Alberta. Locally famous for its Parrot Parade each September and the Alberta Sheep Wranglers Hall of Fame, Cremona seeks to embrace a greater degree of ethnic diversity and has recently twinned with Biggar, Saskatchewan.

Initially settled by Blackfeet indians who were victims of what has been called the European Extinction, Cremona is currently a hotpot of cultural diversity with no tinges of rabid monotheism.

Stone-boat constructionists, root-excavaters, and gravel percolation technicians mingle freely with the artists, artisans and articled accountants of Cremona at the many tables in the cafe.

Ice-hockey amuses the population as does curling, which seems to involve bowling large pieces of granite down a long, frozen, gravel-studded blanket.

Care to visit Cremona this week to get your bogey on and watch a curling rodeo?

Do I! Let me get my binoculars and a can of diet-coke!

Oh I think they have diet-coke in Cremona now!
by gnostic1 September 10, 2011
v. 1) sports term indicating that one player prevented an opponent from scoring any points; a zero, or "bagel" is thus scored.
2) a sexual euphemism.

Dude! I hear that spanish tennis pro totally bageled your sister last week. Actually, I bageled her once myself. To be honest she isn't much good.
by gnostic1 August 02, 2011
n. fictional conveyance that delivers freckles, nevi and lentigo to the homes of cute girls.
Wow! I see you kept the freckle wagon pretty busy when you were little.

by gnostic1 July 23, 2011
place. Burbling waterfall-side town in the lesser gravel bar region of Alberta. Settled by Norwegian rock collectors during the bevelled agate phase of the Western Canada gem rush.

Reliant on eco-tourism since its days as a haven for draft dodgers in the sixties, Krinkle Creek enjoys a reputation as a great place to escape from the drudgery of modern life. Visitors are guaranteed a lack of even the simplest of modern conveniences or courtesies.

How about a walk up to Krinkle Creek to see the waterfall?

Are you mad?
by gnostic1 June 29, 2012