180 definitions by gnostic1

n. Person possessing no desire to advance at work or in society; needlessly apathetic human encumberance.

Are you still going out with that bog squatter?

He's not a bog squatter! He's an artist. Why do you hate me?

I was just asking.
by gnostic1 October 12, 2011
n. two or three holes "hacked" into the ice at each end of an ice curling rink to give the sweepers somewhere to rest their brooms. Also:

v. what smokers do while curling, which is one of the few Olympic sports where smoking is allowed during the game.

Throw some end-raise take-out weight and I'll sweep from the hack!

Hurry hard!
by gnostic1 October 03, 2011
n. "sporting" activity in which marginally inebriated Canadians curl large lumps of granite down a frozen carpet of ice in order to obtain a "hammer" which, I believe, is the metric equivalent of a "fifth" of rye. Oddly enough a "fifth", in curling, is a player too incompetent to play well. Brooms are used to clear debris off the ice and roller blades can be worn for decreased traction but aren't compulsory.

Originally the game was played on Scotland's lakes by English soldiers with frozen lumps of haggis.
Dude! I feel like a bonspiel tonight! Let's totally whip some stones into the hack and try to knock out some inturns with a double raise!

Listen to yourself. You've only been curling for a month and already you sound like a Canadian stoner.

Hurry hard!
by gnostic1 September 12, 2011
n. A certain uniquely attractive flavor that football adds to the autumn.
Man, the atmosphere around here is dead gruesome. The world is bland ... bland I tell you!

Wait until next week. That is when the football seasoning is going to spice up your life.
by gnostic1 September 06, 2011
v. 1) sports term indicating that one player prevented an opponent from scoring any points; a zero, or "bagel" is thus scored.
2) a sexual euphemism.

Dude! I hear that spanish tennis pro totally bageled your sister last week. Actually, I bageled her once myself. To be honest she isn't much good.
by gnostic1 August 02, 2011
n. the layer of excess new humanity threatening to consume the earth's resources.
All these people twinsing and tripleting are creating a baby blanket that will cover the earth in spit-up and used diapers.
by gnostic1 April 09, 2011
n. the period between dawn and sunrise when party girls have to arise and find their way home.
Drive carefully this morning. It's still nebtime and the streets are awash with lohans.

What's the matter with you all coming in at nebtime like this! Wait'll I find my teeth so I can lecture you at length without covering you in spit.
by gnostic1 January 08, 2011

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