180 definitions by gnostic1

v. 1) estimate. A word, based on an obscure reference, that makes no sense to non-Americans.

2) a sexual practice.
I don't know when the Dentist can see you but I could probably ballpark you at four.

Will that help my toothache?
by gnostic1 May 27, 2011
n. secret notification, usually from one nurse to another, that a patient has been incontinent of feces or urine; a signal used by care staff who wish to avoid the clean-up or who wish to save the patient's dignity by removing visitors from the room.
This is a funny time for emergency blood work. And what the heck is a serum reiff-trenchel osmolality?

Don't be a dweeb doctor. That was just a soiler alert.
by gnostic1 April 03, 2011
Adj. Having the characteristics of Florida i.e. full of warmth, splendor, and ostentatious oppulence with a touch of violent danger.
All we need is some Stingrays in the pool and some naked foosball to make this party truly Florididian!

By "Stingrays" do you mean the deadly poisonous aquatic animals or the 1960's Chevrolet corvettes?

Either way man! What are you ... a pedant or something? Just load them in there before Lebron walks out.
by gnostic1 December 03, 2010
n. The politically incorrect result of translating technical or mathematical terminology into something women can understand. A misstranslation is usually devoid of numbers and greek letters and may deal with how force vectors "feel" about each other. Use of the term around women is usually followed by a good purse-smacking.

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So why are pie squared? I don't get it.

Sorry, I didn't see your breasts. Let me give you the misstranslation. Pretend you have a large round blanket and four babies that need to be covered.

Ohhh. Babies! What are their names?
by gnostic1 August 31, 2012
n. Perhaps the most arcane and archaic field event still contested at the Olympics and only marginally less silly than tug o'war or tossing the caber as a competition for grown ups. Strong lobbying by Canada and Scotland, who use hammer throwing in their cross-training for tossing granite rocks in ice-curling, keeps the sport from going the way of the Dodo and the standing fish-slap.

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Do you think folks would watch the hammer throw if we made the competitors stand in deep sand and wear skimpy bathing suits?

No.
by gnostic1 August 08, 2012
adj. Formerly just a colour but now an indication of almost religious perfection in a foodstuff, industrial product, or political party: purity, organicity, hard work by unionised workers and a complete lack of chemicals found in the periodic table is implied.

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Are these beans green?

Yeah. Look at them.

I know they're green. But are they green?

Yes. I told you. They are verdant little kernels suffused with, nay, bursting with, greenness.

But are they green?

No.
by gnostic1 August 08, 2012
n. Manly street term for beach volleyball, which is a fluff "sport" played in an inordinately large sand pit.

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Whoa, six o'clock! We totally have to scoot if we are going to catch the boxing.

Cage fighting! I love that: crushed lips and death grips!

Actually I meant the litter boxing.

Ah, well, that can be good too. Let me just get a book first.
by gnostic1 August 05, 2012

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