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29 definitions by gf

 
1.
A statement made to signify that what you speak is 100% the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Usually used when someone doesn't believe what you say, as it is bullshit, but this is used to try and make that person believe its true as its probably not.

What it actually means may derive from the old saying of "I swear on my mum's life!" which means absolutely nothing but some people think if that statement is said that they can't be lying.
"I swear down your honour, i didn't do it"

Nick: Did you know that Ahmed got arrested last night?
Keane: No he didn't.
Nick: Yeah man, swear down.
by GF November 30, 2006
 
2.
MD
Short for MDMA which in turn is short for Methylenedioxymethamphetamine. The most purest, cleanest chewmical in the world. Powdered form of the street drug ecstasy usually found in unclean, unpure pill form. Once you do this, you'll never wanr to touch another pull again. Swear down. However, it has a rather foul, vile taste, so is best taken wrapped in a rizla.
Guy 1 "Yo g you got any pills on ya?"
Guy 2 "Nah mate i don't do that shit, i got some MD though"
Guy 1 "Whats that?"
Guy 2 "The best thing you'll do in your life. Much better than cocaine
Guy 1 "Yeah man i'll try some"

Half an hour alter

Guy 1Nah man this is fuckin brilliant i'm never doin those awful pills again man!
by GF August 22, 2007
 
3.
A humerous and witty retort aimed at people who offend you using the popular slang "your mum" which can have deep and hurtful meanings to the receiver often resulting in them getting annoyed and wanting to fight.

This line asks the receiver to visualise their own mother ona slice of toast, often with side fillings such as cheese , the funnier more extreme the better.
"Your mum!"
"Yeh? well your fuckin mum on toast with cheese and lettuce smothered in tomato sauce!"

"hey dude you fuckin suck"
"Your mum on toast bitch"
by GF June 28, 2006
 
4.
that 1 distant uncle who you only see at big family gatherings who nobody particularly likes and who proceeds to annoy everyone.
"oh jesus here comes uncle knobhead, let's ignore him"
by GF August 29, 2005
 
5.
Hailing from Hulme, Manchester, the Old Footage Lady is a 75 year old woman who happens to be the world's oldest clubber. Trotting round without a care in the world other than to raise money for the NSPCC from pissed students at Footage and other like bars, she has been out every night for the past 30 years and raised over 60 million pounds for charity. She appears to have a heart of gold, but recently, the pressure has been getting to her. Local thug Dean Blair has started to take advantage of her. Using her reputation for being a charity worker, he sends her out to do the same job but instead of the money going to charity, it helps Dean Blair launder money through his Salt'n'Battery Chip Shop. Recently she has been spotted getting out of Deans car right outside Footage. She no longer speaks to the clubbers as she is too frightened, instead extending her arm holding the collection box.

However, an incident occured last week that could have scarred the woman for life. A young unnamed lass was dancing wildly on the dance floor, unbeknowingstly charging into the Old Footage Woamn. sending her hurling to the ground. The Crowd let out an almighty gasp as they thought she was dead. She did however survive, and the young girl was launched out of the club by power hungry bouncers on an ego trip. Dean Blair, amazingly, did not allow her to go to hospital. Instead, he sent her back in to finish her nights work. The woman is finally thinking of hanging up her boots, but determination to raise at least a little extra than usual, so she can keep a bit to give to her old charities, is driving her forward.
"Hide ya change lad, the Old Footage Womans about!"
by GF March 21, 2007
 
6.
What was once the ultimate put down. The strongest diss you could say to somebody who was annoying you by being physical with something you own.

Starting off with expensive things that other poor kids couldn't afford, this was a snobbish insult used by richer kids who had the flashest new gear and one of the poorer kids wanted to touch it as they could never afford somethign so extravagent. This was in fear of the poorer kids leaving germs or nits] on the item leaving the richer kid fucked later on. This would put them in their place and the poor kids would know their place in society.

However, things started to get a bit out of hand circa 1997. The diss spread wildly across Britain's schools and soonn became used in day to day conversations heard in the playground; the cheaper the tackier the item the better the insult. It was a witty way of saaying "you're so poor that..." but without having to use the brainpower to think of an item and and it would leave people hurt inside.

Soon enough people found a way of responding to this comment which was to get your wallet out and show you have enough money to indeed afford the item, thus making the person who used it look silly and make their point completely void. Soon after this was discovered people stopped using it, and thus sending a classic diss to the history books along with "your mum gives head for bread" and other such insults.
Person 1 "Hey, Let me have a look at that pen."
Person 2 "Oi, don't touch what you can't afford!"
Person 1 "Damn...you didn't have to go there."
by GF February 16, 2007
 
7.
Lad
A word made popular around Manchester by Richard Keane.

1. The traditional meaning of this term refers to a male human being, usually somebody who is quite young or younger than the person saying it such as a child.

2. Same as above but used in a derogatory way to put somebody in their place for talking to their superiors in a bad way.

3. Used as a sign of affection between two males addressing each other.
1. "Dorothy's lad's growing up fast."

2. "Don't give me cheek, lad."

3. "Alright lad?"
by GF August 23, 2004