When everyone and everything in your life conspires to orchestrate a situation that is really shit.
2005 was one long shit symphony.
A woman who arrives in your life all hot and wet, and then leaves with your house and car.
I didn't realise she was a Hurricane Jane when I married her.
A heraldic device symbolising sexual potency, an erect penis.
After several bottles of Spanish wine, the professor found that a squid rampant was a brave thing to aspire to.
Blow job; to go a long way south and eat at the tip of Florida.
I woke up on Sunday morning with an erection, and I asked my companion if she fancied lunch in Miami.
Heraldic device, symbolising unwillingness to engage in sexual acts.
"And we can see from the Stoat Reluctant in the coat of arms, that the second Earl was a cuckold" said the professor.
Heradic device, symbolising a lack of hygiene on the female line.
"And the beaver pungent informs us the the third Lady Whelkingham was a stranger to soap" explained the professor.
Specialist form of Tutonic Bukkake, filmed with a very obliging frau.
Helga is a dirty scrubber, and likes nothing better than to star in a bit of Uber Alice in the evenings.