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4 definitions by futanari basashi

 
1.
Something you do to make yourself seem cooler than you are. A lot of the time you don't really realize you're doing it, but all of the time you look a fool to everyone watching, assuming they've grown up more than you have.

Almost everyone has some affectations, but people with a lot of them stick out like sore thumbs and they don't even know it. See try-hard.

People in high school and college (especially) tend to have a lot of affectations because they are stupid. Or because they don't have the life experience to know that they are being stupid. Oftentimes both.
The college sophomore down the hall who wears a fedora every day (known, unknowingly, to his hallmates as "Fedora Guy"): "I like to think I'm an endearingly mysterious gentleman."

The kid with the fake accent/other contrived manner of speaking: "The way I casually throw in SAT words into my everyday speech makes the Normals uncomfortable, which is really cool because that means I'm impressing them and earning their respect."

Self-proclaimed nerd: "I really like showing people that I know a whole lot about really obscure things like math and the internet, because when I meet people who are 'in the know' like me and who actually deserve to be in my presence, they'll know what I'm talking about and they'll be really impressed, which is epic hacks!"

Dumb college kid at top-tier liberal arts school: "I'm so glad I've finally found a community where people like me can just bounce ideas off one another. I'm really excited about completely changing the way I think about everything by surrounding myself with such a diverse population of people who are exactly like me. Also I really really care about the actually important stuff, like politics and Darfur and voting and political correctness and intellectual conversations and getting drunk once in a while and being offended while remaining open-minded."

Generic affected individual: "What? No, that's not an affectation, that's just the way I've always done that. No, you've got it all wrong--I do it for a reason. Plus--heh heh--it just plain looks cool."

No dice, buddy.
by futanari basashi January 23, 2009
 
2.
The dumb guy down the hall who wears a fedora every day because he thinks it looks cool or something.

Fedora guy can be anyone with a really obvious and ridiculous affectation that makes him look more like the immature dork he is than the imaginary worldly and mature non-dork he sees himself as.
"In-the-know" college girl: "So I was like, 'Epic fail!'"

Fedora Guy: "Did I just hear 'epic fail'?" -winks at girl-

-room goes silent-

Minutes later...
Person 1: "Fedora Guy is such a dork."
Person 2: "I walked in on him playing Dungeons and Dragons with his fat girlfriend the other day."
Person 3: "Seriously. But, hey guys, how do you like my new American Apparel Deep V tee?"
Persons 1 & 2: "Quit being such a fedora guy before we fart on your head."
by futanari basashi October 03, 2008
 
3.
Just some regular gay guy. You might be able to tell he's gay just by being around him or you might not. Pretty low-key about how much he likes dudes and lookin' at dudes and fuckin' dudes.
Emilee gets her heart broken every other week because she can't understand that even though her gay crush doesn't act really, really gay, he still is. Not everyone's a total queen, Big Girl--a lot are just regular faggots.
by futanari basashi October 03, 2008
 
4.
A gay guy who is so nasty that he makes regular faggots throw up.

If you are a dude and there's a nasty gay anywhere in the room, you won't be able to get rid of the nasty feeling of him undressing you with his slimy eyes and bending you over with his slimy ghost-hands and slipping his slimy ghost-peen into your butt and tickling your ball sack with his slimy ghost-claws until you go take a cold shower... at your house... after you've killed him. Which could possibly be never.

Because nasty gays are usually the "outest" and "proudest," a lots of people think that they're the only type of gay. And, to tell the truth, if they were I'd go gaybashing every goddamn day.

The average nasty gay's personality consists of the following (in order of importance): being GAAAAAY!, suckin' dix, myspace pix, expensive brand names (Prada, Abercrombie, and Whole Foods), havin' FUN (MALLS!, GAY BARS!) and ART. All nasty gays believe they are ARTISTS at heart. That's why they take so many rainbow-colored myspace pictures of their naked skinny asses wearing nothing but a stupid tie and a bowler hat. Because it's art.

100% of nasty gays are paired with a similarly nasty fag hag, to whom he tells all of his stories of going bareback with another dude he just met and getting poop all over 3/4 of his shaft. All nasty gays have been around the block enough times to assume that 100% of them are AIDS positive.

Once in a while (frequently) they'll get into a pretend-serious relationship with the "LOVE OF MY LIFE STRYKR <3" and then delete their shared shrine-like myspace when they break up a couple of weeks/days/seconds later.
Nasty gay Riley: "I am GAY, QUEER, FAG, HOMO, whatever you wanna call me--I'm out and proud! And I want to rape every boy I see."

Nasty gay Lang: "Your legs look like stilts. Wanna fuck? Meet me at the gloryhole in ten mins!"
by futanari basashi October 02, 2008