9 definitions by footfarmer

Top Definition
An irrational fear of going home.
Homophob(ic) one who is reluctant for the evening to end and finally go home and face what is/not there.
Can describe one who is aware that 'home is not where the heart is, but where the tax bill is' and is reluctant to cross that threshold.
"Hey, where are we going now?"

"Whoa, it's 3pm, we've been going solid since yesterday lunch"

"Uhuh, so where are we going now?"

"I diagnose acute homophobia my friend"

"Look a taxi.."
by footfarmer October 01, 2005
You take a dump and when you turn around to have a look at it (of course you do) there is nothing there..
"I swear i curled out a trans-atlantic cable but when i looked down there was nothing there.." "Whoa ghost shit!"
by footfarmer September 17, 2005
A scouse (Liverpudlian) expression for pensioner or old person. Free Bus passes for the elderly prohibit travel before certain times to make more space during rush hours. The phrase came about because bus conductors (now drivers) would say "you're too early" to the wrinklies pushing aggressively onto the bus
"Hold on, you're twirly - get the next one.. it's about 2 hours behind us"

"Got stuck in the queue behind a bunch of twirlies cashing in their piggy banks"
by footfarmer September 27, 2005
A militant Apple fan who can't see beyond their often self-fulfilling products - usually a recent convert.
"This iPhone 5 is the most amazing thing that ever was, look it even makes calls!"
"God, you're such an iHole.."
by footfarmer September 12, 2012
The area where cocaine is taken; usually comprising a cd case, a credit or video store card, a rolled note (or cut down drinking straw), a baggie of coke and a determined and serious minded soul chopping lines, preparing to work the night shift.
Them: Nah, I didn't make it to the club, I went around Gareth's and got chained to the gak factory..

Me: Nice (shudder)
by footfarmer September 23, 2005
The indefinable gooey mess mess that sometimes appears on the front of your car - usually road kill, kangeroos, dingos, badgers, really really big insects etc but occassionally remenants might contain a tiny gloved hand, dog collar or leg iron..
"Step to the front of the vehicle please, could you explain this fender food please, Sir?"

"Er.. a dog?"

"Wearing a wristwatch?"

"Haha er.. god made me do it!"
by footfarmer September 24, 2005
Dog shit or something deeply unpleasent that gets stuck on the sole of your shoe / foot - similar to sole food. See also fender food
"No. don't come in the house! I don't want you just walking heel food all over my nice new rugs.."
by footfarmer September 24, 2005

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