8 definitions by fon

Top Definition
The most useful word in the English language.
Me:- "OK love, when your grandma and grand dad come around it would be really good if you jump up and down on the sofa shouting Bollocks. Can you do that?"

Mate's 2 year old daughter:-"Yes"

Ten minutes later, old folks arrive, little girl jumps on sofa:

Mate's 2 year old daughter:-"Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks Bollocks"

Mate's wife:-"Please leave my house"

Me:-"Oh bollocks"
by Fon March 22, 2005
The most revolting, culturally barren shit hole in the world. A small town over run by feckless chavs and heroin dealers. Shops rarely sell anything other than White Lightning and fake sportswear. Illiterate population who cannot pronounce Keighley, chosing instead to call it Keeflay. Also a hotbed of leprosy. Apparently.
"Job? What do you mean? I'm from Keeflay"
by Fon March 22, 2005
fon; freak of Nature; person whom is considered a freak by the freakiest of freaks
whats up with that dude? dont worry he's just a fon
by fon September 06, 2003
Noun. A member of the travelling community that wakes you up by knocking on your door and trying to sell you something useless. It is usually an old lady who will be flanked by angry looking young men, she will be carrying some pegs and heather, perhaps some gravel freshly picked up from the street, all of which will be described as "lucky". Refusal of purchase will result in a curse being issued and your windows put through later in the day.
"I'd like a replacement window please, we had the ronkers around this morning"
by Fon March 22, 2005
An abomination of mis-spelt and mispronounced words backed up by half witted ill informed historical inaccuracies, go and ruin Spanish instead you big foreheaded country leaving twats
Aah wash mahself with a raag own a stiack
by Fon March 31, 2005
a bird's twat, that's all, any arse called booyeahbaby or whatever is clearly either a fuckwit or a yank (one and the same, I know) good night and thank you. Any fuckwit americans want a fight?
she had a big flappy fanny, so I parked my fag there while I went for a slash
by Fon April 01, 2005
A great idea invented by women to suck the life out of the men they proclaim love for only to, within weeks of marriage, turn into a poisonous paranoid haridan intent on destroying everything about him she was supposed to love, the bastards!
I have a wife, that's me fucked then!
by Fon April 16, 2005
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