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4 definitions by flossandtosscrisscrosstheboss

 
1.
When someone isn't nessecarily suicidal, but they do everything in their power to remain right on top of death's doorstep.

Anyone who reapedidly undertakes multiple life threatening stunts, somtimes brought on by emotional stress but mostly just stupidity.
Everyone on Nitro Circus and Jackass is Phosuicidal.

My friend Connor got in a fight with this girl he liked. Following this event he promptly called me and asked whether it would be a good idea to film himself launching a firecraker from his ass, and then after go night surfing in shark invested waters. He is Phosuicidal.
 
2.
A device much like a stairmaster, but instead of two steps on the machine their are two gong mallets on the machine. Used by percussionists of all shapes and sizes to strengthen the forearms, biceps, triceps, while simletaneously practicing some good old fashioned gong motions.
Example of a Gongmaster (tm) Commercial:

Groupie: "Wow Jon the famous Drummer you look so toned and ripped, and your rhythm is so good- how do you do it?"

Kenny the not so famous drummer: "I'm not Jon the famous Dummer, I just use the Gongmaster and it makes me look attractive like him so I get all the girls to admire me. And its only 19.99!" (winks at camera) *wink*
 
3.
Based on the 2009 Captain Morgan ad campaigns, opporunists who go to parties and create scenarios where they can easily obtain sexual appreciation from multiple member's of the opposite sex
Bro #1: I'll put posters of me and my crew outside the club that make us look famous when we are really just four regular guys

Bro #2: Damn you are such a Captain Morganist

Bro #1: I'll find girls at a costume party and have me and my friends dress up in costumes that match them

Bro #2: Wow you are certainly an avid pracitioner of the Captain Morganist philosophy

Bro #1: I'll buy a bunch of captain morgan and then be the guy who bought all the drinks

Bro #2: sweet, free drinks
 
4.
An exclamation said after a time where somthing you spent a lot of time and effort on was going your way and then in a second all hopes of becoming successful in that particular field are gone.

The most appropriate time for Snappers to be used is when the conclusion is forgone, however the parties are double blind to this fact until the end of the event, AND when more severe language is not particularily condoned.
Colleague One: I just spent 4 hours with the client who said he would sign the deal, only to find out that his boss had already signed with our competitor.

Colleague Two: Fu- (looks around, sees their boss)- SNAPPERS!