crusty vag is when the walls of the vagina are lacking in moisture, in rare occasions when the vagina is at its upmost crustiness the vagina walls begin to fall apart, out of the entrance of the vag (vagina) a solution to crusty vag is to submerge the vag in warm tea for 4 - 6 hours, earl grey is best. the tea must be kept warm, this can be acheived by using a small candle or bunsen burner, or if you are lucky enough to have a bath in your kitchen you can use the hob.
geoffrey: what is that smell, smells like a jar of old foreskins thats been sitting under a radiator for 10 years
izzy: i dont know, its definitly not my vag
(izzy gets off her chair and scratches her vag)
geoffrey: there are smelly flakes falling out your skirt, you have crusty vag you vile slut
izzy: omg, no , this is so cringe, can you arrange a bath of earl grey for me