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9 definitions by flangeface

 
1.
crusty vag is when the walls of the vagina are lacking in moisture, in rare occasions when the vagina is at its upmost crustiness the vagina walls begin to fall apart, out of the entrance of the vag (vagina) a solution to crusty vag is to submerge the vag in warm tea for 4 - 6 hours, earl grey is best. the tea must be kept warm, this can be acheived by using a small candle or bunsen burner, or if you are lucky enough to have a bath in your kitchen you can use the hob.
geoffrey: what is that smell, smells like a jar of old foreskins thats been sitting under a radiator for 10 years
izzy: i dont know, its definitly not my vag

(izzy gets off her chair and scratches her vag)

geoffrey: there are smelly flakes falling out your skirt, you have crusty vag you vile slut

izzy: omg, no , this is so cringe, can you arrange a bath of earl grey for me
by flangeface February 22, 2011
 
2.
When you have a methane experience that is so moist you are actually convinced some faeces came with it
tom: think i might have just shat myself, i need to go clean myself up

dave: nah dont bother, probably just a phantom faeces
by flangeface March 11, 2011
 
3.
when you hold in a fart for an extended period of time until it can be held in no more and when you finally let it go you gag at the stench.
wilfred: i just had a 4 hour meal with my girlfriend and her parents, major anal regrets when i got in my car
by flangeface March 11, 2011
 
4.
when the methane emitted does actually contain feaces molecules, this may result in the unconciousness of people in your imediate vicinty
liam: fuck, that girl just dropped down dead

Gary: yeh, i just let out a not-so-phantom faeces
by flangeface March 11, 2011
 
5.
When ejected fluids are left to hang off the end of the penis long enough to oxidise and crisp over, causing icicles of cum to hang from the bellend.
john: i was so tired at the end of a vicious bashing session i passed out.

carl: oh shit, did you wake up with phallic icicles?

john: yeh they were unreal, reached down to my knees
by flangeface March 11, 2011
 
6.
1. To seize hold of, take without prior permission.
2. To gain possession with or without force.

Said either derogatorily or as means of alert.
a) My car has been taken by a Lythigator!
b) Here comes the Lythigation squad!
c) Every time I go past his house he lythigates my lighter
by FlangeFace June 23, 2013
 
7.
When the anus has not been cleaned for an extended period of time a small allotment begins to develop in and around the rectum
Jamie: can you go to the shops and get me a carrot for this soup please?

fran: wait a minute, i havnt showered in quite a while, i might have something for you in my allotment

Jamie: nah we're not using your anal vegetables again, that potato and leek soup tasted like a vultures ageing japs eye
by flangeface March 11, 2011