(1) Slang name for the head, or bulbous tip of the penis.
(2) Nickname given to my girlfriends total twat of a husband.
"Honey that fucking mardarse bellend has threw another sickie and not gone to work, I won't be able to get to yours today.
"Just tell him you're off to see me because I am better in bed than he ever could be, I don't need a vacuum pump to get it up. I mean it's not as though he doesn't know is it. He found the christmas card off me 12 months ago and is still too much of a shithouse to deal with this situation"