5 definitions by fartwhisperer

Top Definition
This is done when one places a Chinese whistle in their ass hole. The whistle holder is then assisted by their partner, who breathes heavily into the securely mounted whistle until maximum pressure is achieved. Then the assistant removes mouth from whistle and immediately punches the whistle holder in the belly. The force from the blow will create the sound of a screeching locust. This works even better when the whistle holder is wearing some fluffy angel wings and green goggles.
I was worried last night that I would wake the kids when I gave my wife/husband a screeching locust blow, but they managed to sleep right through it. It's a good thing, because that would be a tough one to explain.
by fartwhisperer July 15, 2010
This consists of two hanging ropes that hold a woman's ankles and is positioned over table. With a sexually aroused man lying on the table, a female secures her ankles to the ends of both ropes which leaves her doing the splits in mid air. The male then takes her legs and spins her until she is raised just high enough in the air to hover directly over the tip of his penis. When the female is released she will then spin down onto the man's penis, creating a most pleasurable feeling for both people.
I hope that Vicky will do the chopper with me tonight. The last girl I tried it with couldn't do the splits and she fell down over the side of the table, busting her face on the floor. I still nailed that ass though.
by fartwhisperer July 18, 2010
When a person has taken too much amphetamine or methamphetamine and is going at too fast of a rate to function properly. Often times the person will be paranoid, sketchy, or have nervous twitches. Usually a person that is spidacked will pick at their face excessively and will not leave the house.
She was so spidacked that she could not even show up for our date last night. When I called her she said we could not talk because her phone was tapped. She needs to lay off the dope.
by fartwhisperer July 16, 2010
Foreplay leads up to eventually having sex, however five play often does not. Five play is when a man inserts all 5 of his fingers into a woman's vaginal cavity and then separates each finger from one another. There aren't too many men that could fill such a large hole while having sex. When this is done sexually it is often followed by some form of a humiliating act such as a golden shower, or dirty sanchez. This practice does serve useful when prepping a woman to smuggle large packages of narcotics into other countries.
Last night Jenny and I fooled around, and it turned into five play. I nearly lost my watch, so I left her with a dirty sanchez so she could be as disgusted as I was.
by fartwhisperer July 18, 2010
This term refers to a type of self mutilation performed by some crazy males. The man will slice the underside of his penis in half, starting right below the pee hole and ending at the start of his testicles. When the penis heals it looks just like a hot dog bun.
Phil was going to get some oral sex until Suzy saw his hot dog bun. That freaky looking thing scared her off.
by fartwhisperer July 16, 2010

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