Ellesmere port (often referred to as 'the port') is full of drug-taking trash and alcoholics who think their solid like the rest of the town. Port heads are out to cause trouble for no actual reason. Every girl looks as though she has been rolling around in a giant bag of wotsits. It's full of chavscumbags and couples wear matching tracksuits and everybody that I've ever met from ellesmere port are arrogant good for nothing douchebags.
Jade: So, dwayne tell me a bit about yourself
Dwayne: I'm from Ellesmere port me lad 'coz i'm solid like dat innit
Jade: My parents always told me to look at the bright side of things, but in this situation there really isn't a bright side. *RUNS FOR HER LIFE*