A smelly shithole. Thankfully seperated from the Republic by a border, which is unfortunately no longer militarised due to the evacuation of British troops.
Me: Thank God I don't actually live here in Northern Ireland! It's shit.
Northerner: No it isn't!
Me: Actually, it is. Belfast looks like a fucking concentration camp or something. What's with all the barbed wire and fences! And the retarded chavs who attack policemen, firefighters, and anyone wearing the wrong soccer jersey, the paramilitaries, Orangemen, need I go on?!
Northerner: You're right, feck this, I'm moving to the West Country. Or Wales. Or the South. Even Glasgow isn't as shite as this armpit.
Me: Now you're thinking straight. I'll book a ticket on Ryanair and get us the feck out of here. Let's never speak of it again.