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59 definitions by dr. heywood r. floyd

 
1.
born in 1941, coiner of the word meme. He has lately taken up the mantle of the late Madalyn Murray O'Hair and become the obnoxious atheist of the English-speaking world.

He wrote an essay called Viruses of the Mind, referring to religion. He calls believers, faith-sufferers, and disparages even those who are tolerant of others' faith. He thinks they are a large part of the problem.

Richard Dawkins, you sure are an arrogant atheist.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 09, 2007
 
2.
The 2008 presidential candidate with the biggest balls. Man, that guy has balls the size of his homestate (Alaska).

He has said stuff like, that the "war was lost the day that George Bush invaded Iraq on a fraudulent basis." He doesn't have his finger to the wind. He just tells the damn truth. He's like the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes.

Gravel has a campaign video (you can find it on the internet) where he just stares into the camera for a good two minutes and then picks up a rock and throws it in a pond and just walks off.

Balls, I tell you!
Man, that Mike Gravel dude has some ginormous balls.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 26, 2007
 
3.
something Ross on Friends says too much. Rachel said, let's take a break, so Ross boinked Chole, the punk girl from the copy center. He and Rachel immediately made-up, but when she found out about the boinking, she was pissed.

Ross spent the next four years or so saying, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! "Well...WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 09, 2007
 
4.
Pennsylvania state Treasurer who committed suicide on TV in 1987. He was about to be sentenced and sent to prison. He called a press conference, read his suicide note, and blew his brains out with a .357 magnum.

It was snowing that day in Harrisburg, and lots of kids were home from school. Their cartoons were interrupted by this breaking news, in all its graphic glory.

Seared lots of young minds, it did. And this was pre-internet, mind you, so they weren't used to seeing stuff.
Whoh, did you see that? That Budd Dwyer dude just blew his fucking brains out!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 25, 2007
 
5.
when you get an email from someone in Nigeria, who pretends to have been involved in some sort of coup de etat or related to some bigwig or something and says he's got the loot and needs a place to hide it, like your bank account and then they butter you up saying they got your name because you are known to be honest or some shit. They talk all weird and foreign and misspell stuff, to make you think that THEY are the gullible one.

They offer you a couple of million to store the ten million or so and then when you bite, they try to get your bank account info so they can steal your identity. If you are stupid enough, they'll have you writing them checks (or "advance fees") and they'll just keep stringing you along saying something went wrong and send more money.

Worst case scenario: they get you to fly over there. Never do that. Once you are in their clutches, you're, well, in their clutches.

Nigerian scam letter:

Dear Sir:

First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us RECIEVE the said trapped funds ABROAD.

The source of this fund is as follows : During the regime of our late head of state, Gen. Sani Abacha, the government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various Ministries. The NEW CIVILIAN Government set up a Contract Review Panel (C.R.P) and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds which are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria (C.B.N).

However, due to our position as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names. I have therefore, been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues of the panel to look for an Overseas partner INTO whose ACCOUNT the sum of US$31,000,000.00 (Thirty one Million United States Dollars) WILL BE PAID BY TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER. Hence we are writing you this letter.We have agreed to share the money thus:

70% for us (the officials)

20% for the FOREIGN PARTNER (you)

10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.

A SUITABLE NAME AND BANK ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS CAN BE PAID. PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO RESPOND BY TELEPHONE OR FAX.

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 08, 2007
 
6.
totally cool or awesome. Said by Michael on "Zoey 101," who was trying to popularize it as a slang word.
Michael: That is so drippin.

Chase: Saying "drippin" is so not drippin.

Michael: You can't use the word against itself.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd October 22, 2007
 
7.
a corporate conspiracy to further addict the hapless masses to crappy, fat-laden food.
Dude #1: Want to go for fourthmeal? I feel like some Mexican food.

Dude #2: No, I don't do everything the TV tells me to. I think I'll have a salad. Besides, if you think you're going to get Mexican food at Taco Bell, you deserve what you get.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 09, 2007