5 definitions by dick the perv

Top Definition
An inflatable doll usually made of plastic. They are much used by people who have bad personal hygeine, and ugly-looking people, that cannot get a female companion for love nor money.
Clinically depressed man explaining to his social worker why he is so sexually frustrated:
I owned a sex doll once, it cost a fortune, but it felt just like how I imagined the real thing would feel. Then I got carried away and during a particularly torrid night of passion I gave her a love bite on the neck. I never saw her again as she just farted real loud and flew straight out of the window. I cant afford another.
by dick the perv January 31, 2008
An Spanish instrument of torture which caught on in Scotland. The torturer dresses up in a ceremonial skirt and a puts on the hat made out of womens beaver hairs.
Then a small kitten is inserted into a tartan coloured bag and squeezed to death while the torturer blows air into the bag so we hear the amplified screams of the kitten
Gordon, will ya load up the bag pipes with 4 or 5 kittens and I'll show ye a new party trick - I made up a tune called "Amazing Grace"
by dick the perv January 31, 2008
Haggis is a scotsmans bagpipes stuffed with sheeps blood and intestines then baked in the oven for 3 hours.
It tastes great and you will be able to play "God Save The Queen" as you are eating.
Fuck me ! Faharquar, this Haggis tastes like the goats spuds! Its Brilliant aye brrrrrilllliant I say to ye, noo giyass a tune - play god save the queen, aye laddie a toast and a tune to the queen.

Ahhh it could only be better if the english would lead us in a United Kingdom
by dick the perv January 31, 2008
An entity, the existence of which cannot be proven.
Followers of Allah claim to be worshipping a being which is invisible, omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.
The claim is a dubious one since muslims rely on documentary evidence which is of debateable and dubious origin. Their holy book is no more a credible source than, for example, a shakespeare play. Shakespeare claimed to have been writing historical narrative but much of the evidence was from a single source and/or heresay.
In as much as their "faith" prescribes a certain moral outlook there is little doubt in western eyes that it offends western sensibilities. They call for much which is socially consensual within the adult population to be eradicated by stoning to death exponents of any oppositional view.
Muslims worship Allah and most, if not all, muslims demand the execution of people who engage in adulterous relationships, those whose sexuality is bisexual or homosexual etc etc etc.
They claim this is the will of god but infact it is merely politics borne of a hatred of any political or social setup beside their own narrow viewpoint.
Considering that Allah cannot be proven to exist either muslims are mentally ill, or they are simply displaying the audacity of an arrogant political mindset, one which is using pious values as a weapon to achieve power
Allah is no more real than a 2 kilometre high, nuclear powered, inflatable sex doll.
by dick the perv January 31, 2008
Someone who leans over your shoulder with his dick up your anal passage, dictating which porn picture on the gay website you should click next
Oh yeah oooooh click on Gary, click Gary you biatch I am about to shoot hot yoghurt up your ass
CLICK GARY or I will spank your ass with this rubber cock
ok ok keep it there a picture of Gary oh yeah look at his big hard nob of rock, Oh I want to suck that lump of beef. Am I a real a real backseat surfer OR WHAT ?
by dick the perv January 31, 2008
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