I make a nickle,
They take a dime,
That's why I shit
On company time.
Sam: How's work treating you today?
Tommy: Great! I stretched out my on the clock dump for over an hour this morning.
Sam: Gettin' paid, nigggaaaaa!!!
The kid in class who slows down the rest by having to get every last thing repeated to him/her 8 times before understanding it.
Teacher 1) I hear you got Tommy and Linda in English class. I had them last year. They're some really bright kids.
Teacher 2) Yeah, but I feel horrible. It's damn near Christmas and we still haven't finished basic sentence structure because Kyle still doesn't understand subject-verb agreement and he asks me 2 dozen questions per class that I've already answered.
Teacher 1) That's always so unfortunate, when the brightest in the bunch are put in the same classes as the Slowest Common Denominator.
Teacher 2) Yeah. I wish there was room in the budget to have more advanced classes.
Step 1: Tupperware container by the bed
Step 2: Add semen bi-nightly (do not ejaculate any other time- keep your loads abundant and potent!)
Step 3: Rotate nights with your best bud
Step 4: Place a popsicle stick in the middle
Step 5: Freeze during the day
Remember: Make sure you don't get any on the stick!
Step 6: Once you've collected an abundant supply (the more the merrier!!), find a kinky female on a hot summer day
Step 7: Run the outside of the tupperware container in warm water
Step 8: Remove your POPsicle by the stick
Step 9: Donate your POPsicle to the luck lady and make sure she shares with her ladyparts!
Step 10: Take bets on who will be the daddy
Cumboxes are so lame, lets make a POPsicle instead!
1) To piss out a window atop the Burj Khalifa
2) A long, voluminous piss
3) Some piss-head rapper nobody cares about
1) #41 on my Bucket List: Take a wiz khalifa
2) Dude, I just took a wiz khalifa and the urinal overflowed a lil
3) Tom: Who is this Wiz Khalifa fella? Jimmy: Some skinny ass, pre-packaged stoner/skater rapper with more tattoos than most people have skin.
To avoid doing work while on the clock whilst taking care of one's needs. Less euphemistically: to jack off at work.
I was feeling really stressed at work today, so I locked my office and closed the blinds for a good ol' shirk and jerk to relieve my tension before the board meeting. Totally killed the presentation!