7 definitions by dan(paste)

Top Definition
Telfs (plural)
Telf (singular)

Regional variation on chavs. Telfs are the stupid white underclass from the town of Telford in England (American's might call them white trash). They claim £8,000 a week in benefits which they spend on.....

BOYS; Gold Jewellery, 50 Cent Albums, Sportswear, Alchopops
GIRLS; Their 19 kids (or at least thats what they tell people, they more likely spend it on the same things the boys do)

Telfs are good for nothing except reproduction, which they excel at.
(Man walks in to Telford bus station)
Man: Excuse me, can I get past please?
Telf Girl: WTF! Get of me yo homo. My boyfriend Liam is gonna kick yo when he gets out of tha yung offenders unit. Can't yo c ive got me little babies Marshall and Mathers to luk afta......0h damn.....where did i leave em this time?
Man: Damn it I hate telfs
by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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Shifanapa is a hybrid term fusing together the two place names Shifnal (a small town in rural Shropshire, England) and Ayia Napa (a Spanish holiday resort popular with British youths). The term is now used in jest instead of the correct place name of Shifnal as that town has recently become infested with the chavs, pikeys and telfs that are normally associated with Ayia Napa. Also, the term is used to ironically describe the Shifnal nightlife in comparison to the busy resort of Ayia Napa. Both places also smell like toilets on a Saturday morning.
Girl 1 'Where are we going tonight'?
Girl 2 'Just Shifanapa'
Girl 1 'Can't we go somewhere else for a change? The Shifanapa chavs scare me there, although the guys in that pub called 'Seven' are very sexy'
by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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Nigel Reo-Coker is a football (soccer) player in England. As of June 2007 he plays for Premiership team West Ham, although is likely to transfer in the coming weeks. He is known not for his skill, but more for his boundless energy and enthusiasm (basically he runs around the pitch like a headless chicken). Any player who matches Reo-Coker (Nige to his friends) in his enthusiasm is said to have or be 'The Coker-Factor'. Some Coker-Factor moves (or plays in American) include....

- Breaking up attacks with fearless challenges
- Distributing the ball to the nearest team-mate
- Making tireless runs
- Listening to Tupac before the game

Players with Coker-Factor do not...

- 'Back heel' the ball
- Head the ball
- Create opportunities for team-mates with sublime skill
- Score any goals
'Man did you see me break down those attacks today, I am the Coker-Factor'

or

'Did you see West Ham today? The Coker-Factor was bloody awful'
by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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Quietpes in playing the computer game Pro Evolution Soccer on the XBox very quietly, so as not to wake your housemates. Or at least creating the illusion that you are playing Pro Evo quietly, whilst parting like a man possesed.
Housemate 1: I'm not being funny mate but you kept me up all night again with your bloody parting mate. Mate.

Housemate 2: No, no, no we couldn't have, I just had a few mates round for a bit of quietpes. Oh, by the way, they'l be more quietpes tonight aswel, I'm off to the pub to get poombed.
by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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Pissed
Out
Of
My
Brains

'ed
Man i was poombed last night, I had sex with that goldfish and didn't even care. I'm never drinking ever again.
by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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1. Basic food, for when you can't be arsed to get anything better. Good at soaking up beer.

2. What I don't have when I play poker

3. A female who will probably have sex with a scouser

4. Full sex with a woman
1. Let's get some chips on the way to the pub

2. I'm out of chips, lets go get poombed

3. Chips is here tonight, where's scouse James?

4. Look! Johnny's taken that girl upstairs for some chips. Bloody hell! Have you seen the state of her? His nob's gonna rot one day if he carries on like this.
by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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1. The cum or 'jism' of a portly man who has at some point been to Africa.

2. Name given to a boy who goes out in the sun in the middle of summer without any sun-block on, forgetting that he is a pastey white goth who will burn to a crisp in a matter of seconds.
1.
Man1 - Where's paste?
Man2 - Next to that portly guy who's been to Africa

2.
Man1 - Where's paste?
Man2 - In his tent smothering himself in after-sun, looking at a gothic porn mag

by dan(paste) June 14, 2007

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