107 definitions by d. gould

An "ass pirate", of the first order. Often observed dancing to disco, wearing leather chaps, and a Muir cap.
"Hey Fun Boy...Velcome to zee funhaus!"
#fag #queer #homo #cock smoker #pickle chugger.
by D. Gould June 26, 2006
Masterbating, with your non-dominant hand. Much like a "friendly stranger", it supposedly gives one the feeling of being tugged by another person.
"If you're right-handed, why don't you jerk off with your right hand?"

"Because if you switch hit, it makes you cum faster."
#spank the monkey #flog the dolphin #pull the pud #slam the ham #beat the meat.
by D. Gould June 08, 2006
What you need to do when you get "wood", from looking at a hot chick.
"Uh oh. Someone call a lumberjack. 'Cause I got WOOD!"
#boner #chubby #errection #hard-on #stiffy
by D. Gould February 05, 2006
In retail, a customer who feels they are absolved, for whatever reason, from paying the full retail, or even sale price, of an item. They are ruthlessly aggressive, cutthroat, and Grade-A social bottomfeeders, of the lowest order. Often they will use every lie or excuse in the book, in order to garnish themselves a deal. They will claim a product is damaged, when it is not. They will claim to be family of staff, when they are not. Females will attempt to use sexual charm, while males prefer verbal aggression, to try and break down a salesperson. Easily spotted. Often found standing in the middle of the store, yelling at the top of their lungs, and making an ass of themselves.
"If that 'professional bargainer' makes a purchase from you, make sure you hit him up with the hidden 'PAIN IN MY ASS' tax. He has it coming to him!"
#cheapskate #bargain bitch #low-baller #ball-buster #coupon clipper
by D. Gould January 12, 2006
A phrase used to describe the extreme innocence and purity of a person's true character. Whether it be obvious, or latent.
"Bitch was acting like a cock tease at the club. But when I got her back to my pad, she totally chickened out. She was all cake, ice cream and pony rides."
#vanilla #innocent #virginal #upright #moral
by D. Gould January 24, 2006
Much like a "limp cock and no lube" would equate to no action in bed, this phrase describes a state of utter uselessness. Or, a situation in which nothing of value is currently transpiring.
"There's no beer and no chicks. This party's a limp cock and no lube."
#lame #boring #shitty #kife #crap
by D. Gould January 24, 2006
Slag for gothic apparel. Primairly of the shade black. May refer to any of the gothic sub-genre styles: Cyber, Industrial, Victorian, or Death Rock. Made of materials that may include leather, PVC, rubber, lace, or velvet. Dubbed so, because most people assume goths are also 'Satanists'.
"My mom went through my closet, and shredded all my Satan wear. Now, she's making me go to church!"
#dark #evil #gloomy #creepy #grim
by D. Gould February 01, 2006
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