10 definitions by criminal activist

Top Definition
Often created by sad bastards who have nothing better to do with their lives, chain letters usually threaten to do horrible things to you if you don't re-send them to x amount of people within x minutes of receiving them. If you follow the instructions within the given chain letter, then a myriad of wonderful things will happen to you. In order to convince the recipient of the chain letter's power, they commonly incorporate the phrase: "Dis iz so scari cos it actualli werks," or something along those lines. (It may be worth noting, however, that the majority of chain letters' origins lie with illiterates, so they seldom have any grammatical value and can prove very difficult to understand.) Inevitably, the other sad bastards who receive the chain letter believe this crap, and re-send it to all their friends...that is, if they have any...
An 'Illiterate-speak to English' translated chain letter:

"You will have the best day of your entire existence tomorrow if you send this to 1241234234.9238429387423 x 10³ and a half other people within the next 3.3482349872 recurring minutes. Then press F4, F6; hold down Num Lock with your left testicle; press alt three times, with tenuto on the last tap; hit Caps Lock with staccato, with a time signature of 6/8 for the first two bars, then 16/12 for the remaining bars; press Esc. to the rhythm of 'Silent Night'; play the bassline from Beethoven's 5th Symphony in the key of Ab major on the wire of your mouse, with pizzicato throughout; stand on your nose and recite pi in binary. Then, your name, but in Icelandic, will appear on the screen in the font 'Comic Sans'. This is quite frightening because it actually works. If you don't resend this then your Maths teacher will sneak into your room at 12.03 tonight whilst you are asleep and stick photographs of his phallus over your eyes with superglue, so that will be the first thing you see when you awaken in the morning. If you are still awake at 12.03, then he will come out from underneath your bed, chop you up into cubic centimetres and then put you into his geometry set with some kangaroo crap that he measured earlier. Then, you'll get AIDS from a rabid dog that's addicted to crack - who actually mistook you for a schizophrenic next door neighbour - and die from leprosy because Mahatma Gandhi teleported you to Iraq; then to the Vietnam War, which was, incidentally, where Saddam Hussein was having a homosexual encounter with Bin Laden, and George Bush was co-existing with fish and putting food on Al-Qaeda's families (and genitals). When you're dead, a random Goth will tear himself away from his BDSM orgy that he was engaged in with an array of farmyard animals and come to your funeral in his hearse. Here, he will shit on your grave: 'Uhh, that's better!'"
by Criminal Activist October 23, 2007
Black, strong and with no sugar: the elixir of life.
I feel dead...I know, I'll go drink some coffee!
by Criminal Activist October 23, 2007
'Announcements' that Myspace whores issue on an annoyingly regular basis, bulletins are devoid of any worthwhile content and conventionally consist of a running commentary on the given Myspace whore's boring whore-ish life. 'Quizzes' that ask retarded questions such as: "what is your ex's dog doing right now?" and "do you regret fornicating with the milkman now that you have syphilis?" are also common features. Due to the fact that Myspace whores base their self-worth on the number of picture comments that they can scrounge, you can sometimes get a bulletin that begs for picture comments too!
Some examples of bulletins:

"Picture comments on my new default? I look extra ugly in it! Woo!"
"I'm bored, so why not talk to me and become bored yourself?"
"Do you regret sodomizing yourself with a bread knife?
Have you ever microwaved your genitalia without realising it?
Can't remember."
by Criminal Activist October 24, 2007
As the name suggests, a 'shit bag' is simply a bag filled with shit. Alternatively, Wikipedia states that a 'shit bag' is a colostomy bag, but each to their own.
"Shit bags are air and water tight and allow the wearer to lead an active, normal lifestyle that can include all forms of sports and recreation." - Wikipedia on the shit bag.
by Criminal Activist October 24, 2007
Urinary bladder. In anatomy, the piss bag is a hollow, muscular, and distensible organ that sits on the pelvic floor in mammals.
"I'm just going to empty my piss bag."
by Criminal Activist October 26, 2007
A skillful and rare manoeuvre made only by the most sly and daring of emos when their gay fringe pisses them off to such an extent that any hint of self-control and/or restraint that they had over themselves disappears. The initial relief that the emo experiences upon flicking their homosexual hair out of their face is near orgasmic...but I suppose anything is in comparison to the mental agony they're in...
"Dammit, I can't see a thing..."
*Bumps into a lampost*
"Oh God...That hurt...That lampost totally, like, didn't understand me...I can feel the pain coursing right through me, tearing me apart from the inside, just like when I get my gay fringe cut at the hairdressers'...I'll cut myself when I get home so I can deal with all of my imaginary problems better...Of course, the pain's nothing compared to the emotional pain I'm in...This fringe is getting too much...I can't take it anymore...Maybe if I just give it a quick flick, no one will notice and I'll be able to see where I'm going for a split second...But...What if someone sees? They won't think of me as being 'hardcore' anymore...Uh...Oh, fuck it. It's all in my eyes and up my nose and it tickles."
*Fringe flick*
by Criminal Activist November 01, 2007
1) An illegitimate homosexual.

2) A gay individual with an undesirable persona.
*An unpleasant person who appears to be homosexual and illegitimate is in the vicinity*
"Look at that bent bastard!"

*One is offended by a gay person and decides to retaliate*
"Y'bent bastard!"
by Criminal Activist November 01, 2007
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