A small Nordic people that reside in pubic area of infested humans. Signs of Crotch Gnomes include small log cabins, or burrows in the skin of the pubic area. Initial symptoms may include small smoldering fires, slow burning sensations, and hat crafting.
Infestations of Crotch Gnomes are easily spotted by their tall pointy red hats. Not to worry though, while crotch gnomes may be irritating - have short stubby legs, and do not move very fast, making them easier to exterminate. Be sure to stay away from any small animals like Rabbits or Foxes, crotch gnomes are drawn to them.
Crotch gnomes maybe spread in the following ways:
Direct pubis to pubis contact
Excessive amounts of time spent in Nordic Countries
Hat making classes
Playing with foxes or rabbits
"I was hearing a lot of sawing and hammering noises last night in my sleep" "Have you checked your pubes? sounds like you have crotch gnomes"
The act of knocking on a strangers' door to use the bathroom and taking a shower
"Excuse me ma'am, I am sorry to trouble you, I am desperately in need of a bathroom, may I use your toilet?"
Then once your in there, lock the door, take the longest, hottest shower you can stand, so as to use up all the hot water, then leave soaking wet and naked, complaining of the lack of hot water! You should Shambush Hillary Clinton