When you mistakenly catch someone masturbating. Often caused by poor choice of place and timing, such as before dinner, at the movies, at school, at work, in the shower when your roommate is waiting and irritated, in a resturant, in a public restroom, in the back seat of a van on a long road-trip, in a park, on or near a playground, during a party, in the waiting room of a clinic for the blind, in an elementary school principal's office, when you sleep in a bunkbed, in a pool, in river with hungry fish, when you come home to a missing plunger and/or bananas, when you forget to close the browser on the family computer, or making the decision at 5:58 when your mom usually gets home at 6:01 (see after school special).
"Man, I am either a master of mistakurbating or our daughter has the worst choice of timing. Or she still hasn't figured it out. Have you seen the sausages?"
Our hero goes to a job interview at a big box store in a tuxedo.
The Manager holding back a bellowing laugh, "So, you can tell me the truth. Why did you get fired from your last job?"
The man replies, "I was caught masturbating on my break."
"Ya, I know. That's my free time and I am allowed to do whatever I want on my own time!"
And with that the manager could not resist passing him on to the next department for hiring. True story, no joke.
A name given to a group of people from low-lands by those who live in the highlands, usually with a negative connotation. This term is used in many regions of North America. In Michigan it is used to refer to people from the "downstate" region of the Lower Peninsula, which is considered Saginaw and south. This region is exceptionally flat in comparison to the majority of Northern Lower and Upper Peninsulas. The term can be interchangeable with "city-slicker" or "citidot," because of the complete lack of common-sense many of these tourist conduct themselves with while in rural regions. They ask for directions only using road signs even after explaining to them that most roads in the region lack road signs or change names multiple times without your knowing. In fact, many counties in Northern Michigan did not have addresses and/or road signs until the early 1990's.
Flatlanders, "How do you get to Mackinaw City from here?"
Local, "So you take this road here and take a left at the 24hr Shell station. Next, take a right at the junk yard ten miles past the Shell station."
Flatlanders, "Just give me the road names! I don't care about what I am going to see!"
"There are no road signs, I am trying to give you landmarks. That's how we give directions in the country."
CitySlicker, "I don't care, just give me that damn road names."
"You know that most road names are different on GPS than they are on the few road signs, right? And there is no one for you to sue around here if you get hurt and lost. In the country you die when that happens."