Marriage: a legal union between a man and a woman.
Garriage: a legal union between two men.
Larriage: a legal union between two women.
Barriage: a legal union between two bisexuals.
Tarriage: a legal union between two transgenders.
Sparriage: a legal union between a human and another species.
Shamarriage: a legal union of convenience.
Sharriage: a legal union specifically between a man and a sheep.
Swarriage: a legal union specifically between a woman and a swan.
Turduckenarriage: a legal union between a turkey, duck and chicken. (Over-rated.)
Haliarrage: a legal union between a human and E.T. or other alien.
Polyarriage: a legal union between three or more.
What's so magical about the word marriage?
Straight fellow: If I get married I don't want people asking, "what's his name".
Gay fellow: If I get married, I don't want someone to ask, "what's *her* name."
You get the idea. Regardless, most mglbtspshamshswturkendenalipolyharriages will end in one word for which no hair-splitting is required: divorce.
The guy who gets stuck with the bill. He must be stoically accepting because people would be shocked if the SWMP ever said, "pay your own damn way." Despite his open wallet policy, the SWMP also receives the fewest gifts under the tree or on his birthday. Oftentimes SWMP is "Dad" or "opaw" (grandfather), but an SWMP can be anyone, of any race, or even gender.
Others assume the SWMP always has enough green to pay the freight, even when he's bump ass broke.
The restaurant bill arrives for a bunch of college girls and their moms, one of whom picks it up.
Other Mom: Are you gonna split that up?
Mom: Naw, I got it. I'm the SWMP today. Shit.