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47 definitions by carl j. maltese

 
1.
Something Your future employers are not going to ask you about or care about.
Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."

Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"

Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 10, 2007
 
2.
A nice job, if you can get it.
"I could really go for a blow job right about now."
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
 
3.
See Also: The Good Year Blimp with a southern accent; Vague on eight of the Ten Commandments; Oliver North's bend-over buddy; Proud owner of several Swiss bank accounts; Jerry the Blob; Xenophobe; Persecutor; Book burning money worshiper; First against the wall when the revolution comes.
"It's time for the Old Time Persecution Hour with Jerry Falwell!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 06, 2007
 
4.
Creationism explained:
God + Adam + Eve -times- Cane -minus- Abel + Seth -divided by- Lilith -times- Eve's sister-in-law -divided by- dinosaurs -times- 42 -times- E=mc2 -divided by- Infinity + H2O -times- Monosodiumglutinate -minus- The Monolith + hot air + the sound of a honking horn + The Secret Ingredient -minus- your opposable thumb = ALL THAT IS AND EVER SHALL BE! AMEN!

I hope that clears things up for you.
According to the Religious Right, "evolution" was just Darwin trying to explain his wife to his friends and the idea caught on! "Creationism" is, of course, the ONE TRUE and ONLY explanation for human existance. Anybody who says otherwise should have their opposable thumbs chopped off!
by Carl J. Maltese October 02, 2007
 
5.
The televangelist who, on national telvision, will peel-off his human mask and reveal to the world that he is the Antichrist!
"How do I know Pat Robertson is the Antichrist?
Jerry Falwell told me so!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 22, 2007
 
6.
An out-doors game that incorporates the skill of horse-shoes with the thrill of terminal head injury.
"I was about to learn that you should never be on the receiving end in a game of 'catch the lawn darts'...."
by Carl J. Maltese October 16, 2007
 
7.
Just another damned clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney. When she is all-used-up, they'll produce more to unleash on the public.
"Hannah Montana. Proof you can come from nowhere and bring it with you. Also, few adults know or even care that her last name is spelled with only two "n's", not three."
by Carl J. Maltese February 16, 2008