13 definitions by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle

Top Definition
A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.

South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 29, 2009

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The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 01, 2009

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A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
Anyone who is 5' 10" should be banned from caravans. They're all caravandals.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 28, 2009

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The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
Ugliness levels:

1 ugly

2 pug ugly

3 fugly

4 pug fugly

5 super pug fugly

6 scotch fugly
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 29, 2009

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The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.

Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 01, 2009

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Eggs.

Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.

The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
How come there are eggs in the hedge? Was it a student prank?

No, I think you'll find its Pak Magic.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 31, 2009

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Generic name for a Maltby employee who is not a Maltby Hero. This worthless cretin removed Nogtard's Bog and Pork Scotch's Cone from the back of the Maltby Lorry and should be sacked from the glorious company of Maltby.
Where's Nogtard's Bog gone? Thought the Maltby men were all heroes.

That's the work of a Rogue Maltbyite. The Heroes must be informed so they can string the vile bastard up.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 01, 2009

The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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