An obsessively secretive person who constantly locks his/her doors, pretends is always in meeting or heaving some dates and can never give a straight answer to a simple questions. In reality the person is a complete phony and tries to put himself above others. In fact the person is a complete dickhead.
Mike: Hi Al what are you doing today for lunch?
Al: I can not tell you I am doing some important stuff.
Mike: Stop playing some kind of fucking Captain Security. Everybody in the office knows it is all bullshit. You have lunch all alone in the basement and nobody ever call you for a meeting.
A person who is completely unable to do anything right or to make things work. If given any task he/she will fuck it up causing problems for everybody.
Mike: How will be in charge of the christmas office party this year?
Al: I will take the title of marster of the ceremony?
Mike: Al, the only title you can take is Captain Clusterfuck. You can not organize a trip to the bathroom, let alone a party. Everything given to you is doomed for failure.
To have anal sex.
I was with a great girl last night. Not only did I get a good blowjob, but I also got my dick bronzed
Occurrence when a person posts a comment which leads to excessive number of negative replies to the original comment.
Al: Dude I posted that Justin Biber is gay and got raped by the reply button. All the teenage girls hate me.
A condom which has been punctured by a needle in order to cause deliberate pregnancy. Frequently used by Hungarian and eastern European women who have sex with douchebags.
Al: I think that eastern European girl I fucked is pregnant.
Mike: Of course it is Al. You are so stupid, always on the phone that you did not realized she used Hungarian condoms on your dumb ass.
When one mediocre/ugly girl is surrounded by several ugly girls and looks more attractive then she is. Because of her surroundings she will be perceived to be more hot then she would be if looked apart.
Al: Dude that blond in the project meeting was really hot. I would like to have a late meeting alone with her on a Friday night.
Mike: Al, you are an idiot and a clusterfuck. She is butt ugly, you are just blinded by the reverse cheerleader effect. Because she is surrounded by ugly girls you think she is hot.