Main Entry: Machine Gunner
1: One that fires a machine gun.
2: A person that tends to spray things.
3: The MOS for a machine gunner in the USMC is an 0331.
4: Somebody that uses fuck loads when only a dab is needed.
5: Anybody that does not believe in precision firing.
1: When Bob was in the military, he was a machine gunner
2: Watch out when you talk to Kathy, she's a machine gunner
3: Johnny was an 0331 in the Suck!
4: Gordie squeezed the mustard bottle so hard that he shot everybody. Carson exclaimed, "Dude you're a regular machine gunner ain't ya?"
5: Johnny comes home drunk and sprays the toilet with a huge drunk piss. Joe, looking at the urine all over the floor, exclaimed, "Holy dog shit Johnny, I knew you were an 0331 machine gunner in the Corps, but don't you think that you could have at least hit the shitter?" Johnny smiles and says, "I gave it a full belt!"
Main Entry: Miss Tubby Tubby
:A beast of an African American woman usually found in rundown sections of any city (AKA "The Ghetto").
TEETH: A Tubby has large gap between the two front teeth large enough to guage bricks.
LEGS AND FEET: Covered by stretch marks, Tubby legs are rife with cellulite around the hip and thigh area. The kankles are covered with Varicose veins, and the feet look white and powdery. The toe nails are yellowed and heavily infected with fungus.
SENSES:A Tubby is very adept at sensing who has money, and who is willing to mate. It has been rumored that during ovulation, a Tubby can sniff out a hoggin' male at over a mile.
SOCIAL BEHAVIOR:Tubbies are personable, but have been known to stomp Pimp skiny crack heads to death.
ATTIRE:4" fuck me heels, loud shirt, spandex shorts, and splash glitter on the face. The makeup used on the face is the spitting image of Mimi Bobeck.
REPRODUCTION:A Tubby will mate with any male large enough to throw her about in the bedroom, and any man small enough that she is able to strong arm.
HUNTING:May be legally taken, but it's strictly on a catch and release basis.
EFFECTS ON THE ENVIRONMENT:Since they will readily mate with anything, they have begun to spread into the suburbs. Serious attempts have been made via The Welfare Office to spay them. However, this has been met with strong Congressional opposition.
*Note, Tubby's lines will be written phonectically in bubonics.
1. Tubby: Dayhum why boy, yo shur got a nice ass
white boy: (no words, he just gives a quizzical stare.)
Tubby: Whahsh yo naymuh why boy?
White boy: Mike
Tubby: Oh Missa Mike yaw shaw are cute. You can call me Miss Tubby Tubby.
Whiteboy: (Thinks to self, hum, so they really do exist!)
2. White man riding with Tyrone:
white man: What the fuck is that? It's too short to be sasquatch!
Tyrone: Dat's Miss Tubby Tubby.
White boy: I've heard about those things, and man, they're as nasty as they say!
Tyrone: Yea, but she sho can fuck!
3. Tubby Tubby math.
Professor: When solving for X, what's the answer to the following equation? C2H5OH(X*Whiteboy) + 9 months = Miss Zubby Zubby (hint C2H5OH is alcohol in common language)
Student: X=Miss Tubby Tubby
Etemology Military pilot type talk
To perform quick, fast, and in a hurry simulated landings. With touch and goes, all same proceedures for a landing are performed with exception that once the wheels and or arresting gear hits the deck, the craft goes to full power. Rather than coming to a complete hault as in a normal landing, the craft is airborne as quickly as it hit the deck. In this manner, touch and goes facilitate the ability to make as many runs as possible in the shortest amount of time.
Grunt Gunny: Damn Marine, what happed to your face it's all swollen?
Grunt Marine: Ah fuck Gunny, those fucking mosquitos were doing touch and goes whilst I was sleeping.
Main Entry: Relief Tube
Etymology Modern English by adding relief and tube.
Date: 20th Century
A tube that is used to releive the pilot of an aircraft by inserting his naughty bits in the tube and thus relieving himself. The relief tube is a great pain and embarrassment saver for said pilot.
Pilot: Hey Mac, my relief tube is too short. Last flight I had to piss myself. Now I'm not only cold, but I also feel like a fuck stick.
Mechanic: Nah, just checked it, your relief tube is factory length.
Etymology: American English colloquialism used by very young people trying to be cool.
Date: Late 1970s through the early 1980s
An expression used in disgust, annoyance, or wit to tell somebody to gab your penius and give one a hand job. Almost as universal as shit and fuck, but fell into disuse as quickly as it appeared.
Dork: Hey what's with the funny looking Vans man?
Cool: Dude, grip butch!
Used by drunk ass men both active and inactive military to toast each other whilst heavily inebriated and ordering another round of highly volital ping pong tiddly shots of 100 proof caliber.
Marine: Fire for effect Army
Army: Fire for effect and shit man damn
Entire group: Roger that and shit man damn