The harsh, nasty, scratchy feeling you get in your throat the morning after trying to shout over the noise from the obnoxiously loud bar/club/party you were at last night.
Janette wasn't sure what felt worse - the throat demons from last night's festivities, or the soreness from the throat job
she'd given Bruce yesterday afternoon.
Refers to a situation in which your wife or girlfriend screwed you over/caused harm to you, but you don't want to lose face by admitting that she screwed you over, so you cover it up and make her out to be the hero/helpful. (May or may not be because she had good reason.
Dude 1: Wait, so bonnie didn't help you clean up your parents place after? That's what you told your folks.
Dude 2: Bonnie? Hell no - she messed it up. I just gave my folks the "Elin acted courageously" spiel, so I wouldn't have to hear about what a loser of a girl she is.
A euphemism for masturbation, onanism, etc.
Janette: So are you going out tonight?
Erica: Nah, I think I'll stay in - I'm taking my talents to south beach.
Going borneo is slang for getting very drunk. Variants include 'gone borneo' e.g. someone who is wasted, (let's) go borneo e.g. as a suggestion that drinking should begin, etc.
I can't believe that 'going borneo', my favorite term for drunken revels is not in urbandictionary.com
When a woman over 35 gets breast enhancement surgery. Like an aging pitcher, she's looking to get back the 'mound presence' she had as a younger woman.
When Janette realized she still hadn't yoked a man with the one ring of doom, and the big 3-5 was right around the corner, she booked herself an appointment for Tommy John Surgery.
Demi Moore defies aging by working out like a champ, and still hasn't needed Tommy John Surgery