46 definitions by big ed moustapha

Big Ed Moustapha is the benchmark for greatness. See story:
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.
For waiting behind door number three was probably the greatest gift ever available to mankind. That prize, was being granted the privilege of being allowed to smell the butt of The Big Ed Moustapha for an entire two minutes!!! You could hear the audience moan for miles! Poody’s heart sank. His feelings of sorrow and despair soon changed to anger and desperation. Eventually Poody had to be restrained and was forcibly removed from the studio. As he was being carried out, Poody was heard to be crying out: ‘I meant to say door number three!!’ ‘I meant to say door number three!!’.
by Big Ed Moustapha April 19, 2010
A yellow sign that shit-for-brains drivers believe will cause others to be extra cautious around them. In reality it signifies an idiot that thinks they're special because they have the sign that partially obstructs their vision, whether they have a baby in the car or not. It does NOT mean they are being careful while driving or give a shit about you. It actually can be viewed as a point of reference indicating you're within the vicinity of a fucking idiot behind the wheel.
I sometimes take the opportunity to pull along side of someone displaying a Baby On Board sign to see for myself what a fucking moron looks like. These cretins justify the issue of not allowing some imbeciles permission to breed. Do they actually think anybody gives a shit about their fucking kid?
by Big Ed Moustapha March 02, 2010
A period fart can be twofold. First, it can be a pussy fart, which can be particularily stinky, as nasty emissions of varying substances are being passed out of this orifice at this point in time. Secondly, it can be a conventional fart that's a foul stench coming from the anus generated in part by the hormonal effects of the perpetrator's period. The distinction being that the first smells like rotten dead fish and/or burnt rubber. The second smells like a warehouse full of rotton eggs.
Occasionally she'll hit me with a period fart. It's usually followed up by a 'what the fuck are lookin at?!' expression. This is just one more example of what we men are expected to tolerate when we hook up with a female. Remember guys: your best option is to 'test drive', but never 'buy'.
by Big Ed Moustapha March 29, 2010
This has become the new cliché for yuppie types or any pseudo-intellectual types or just idiots that think it sounds special. It is simply just another way of saying: contact, call, speak to, notify, etc. It really sounds faggy and flags the speaker as being self conscious about how they sound to their peers. You also have to wonder who they think they're impressing when they speak like they have an Emily Post book on etiquette shoved up their ass.
Bruce: I'm going to 'reach out' to Bill today.

Tom: Hey Bruce, why do you always insist on talking like a fag?! That little homily won't hide the fact that your a douche-bag.
by Big Ed Moustapha August 24, 2010
A nigger that made a career out of exploiting fellow negroes by convincing them that they wouldn't stand a chance in the American society without him. In reality, he's a media whore that has managed to evade tax fraud and extorts money from industries by threatening to label them as racist if they don't pay large amounts of undeclared cash to him and his organization. He also makes remarks like calling N.Y. hymie town and calling Obama a nigger, and which the main stream media lets him pass.
That media whore The Rectum Jesse Jackson is off to another racial situation that the media feels they just have to cover. He wouldn't bother if it wasn't being covered by the media. The sad thing is that most blacks lack the ability to think for themselves to see this bastard for what he is, a lying thief. And this piece of shit is the best they can come up with.
by Big Ed Moustapha April 06, 2010
This term has a variety of uses and generally always refers to the female gender in varying capacities, as women, by nature are the stinkier of the two genders. Typically used to describe an odor emitted by, or resulting from contact with some woman. Most frequently used to describe the musky, sometimes stinky or even downright putrid smell, residing somewhere on a male after encountering a foul vagina. The term can also apply to other areas of a woman's anatomy when applicable. Can include the butt, arm pits, even bad breath. Let us not forget the feet, which for some women, can melt the paint off a battleship. This condition is most often associated with a female lacking intelligence and common sense, but can include and is not limited to sophisticates as well. It is believed by some that perfume was originally, in part, first used to attempt to conceal the less than desirable smells of a female.
1. Hey man, wanna smell some Le Femme de Pew on my fingers from Mary Jane last night?! The shit just won't wash off.

2. Baby I respect you in every way, but you have got to stop wearing those nylons and cheap shoes, especially in warmer weather. Your piggies really stink and are burning my eyes! I'm also going to have to replace the carpeting.
by Big Ed Moustapha March 23, 2009
Under 30: Most have their youthful babe appeal. If they're at all good looking, they generally expect men to fall all over them, buy them things and treat them like queens AND STILL PUT UP WITH THEIR BITCHY OUTSPOKEN ATTITUDES! If you marry one and she wants a kid and you don't, you’re gonna be a father anyway. She'll put her wants first and get pregnant anyway.

Over 30 into 40's: They're still on an ego trip and many now are divorced and seek a guy to support her and her kids. If love is one of her priorities, it ain't nowhere near the top of the list. Some women in this age group have already started to let themselves go. They still believe men owe them financial security.

Over forty: Still ego driven they're less selective about a guy's physical appearance, but still have financial security as top priority. This is when many start going to seed, but still believe they're entitled to a 'dancing with the stars' type guy. They're willing to marry up financially, but not down.
Over 50: Many more have gone to seed (porked out) and age is taking its toll. Their sex drive is diminishing. The sun worshipers now look like they're over 70 if they can't afford a face lift. They've assumed the attitude of: 'If he loves me, he'll take me they way I am'. Problem is that the men that will take her as she is, she doesn't want. Most have grown kids, but many have still not severed the umbilical cord because their kids are their security. You may as well have a women with kids still at home.

Over 60: Very very few have their sexual appeal left and having gone thru menopause, their sex drive is diminished substantially (despite what you read and people claim), impulsive spontaneous sex is a thing of the past. Most are now very psychologically protective of themselves and not the fun women they were decades ago. (why many men go for younger women) Yet they still carry the emotional baggage they've had for most of their life.

GUYS: TEST DRIVE BUT NEVER BUY!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED A WIFE!!!

I damn tired of women everywhere with the same shitty attitude, they reek of a sense of entitlement.
by Big Ed Moustapha October 09, 2011

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