A sorry little Cambridgeshire town, inhabited by bigoted inbreds who feel it necessary to steal cutlery in order to survive.
Most Chatteris inhabitants are tall, derp and herp. They feed upon the unhappiness of others, alongside a real desire for silverware.
Chatteris is built up of a few shops which sell nothing particularly exciting or useful. Probably sell knock-off forks, for people that like TO STEAL FORKS.
Some Chatteris dwellers like to leave the country sometimes, in order to spread their knowledge of how to be inbred and effectively steal silverware.
These types should be avoided as they are more fucking annoying than people that actually outright rob your property. Or alternatively, thrown in the dyke at birth. Diddums.
Furthermore, Chatteris plays host to some of the ugliest cuntry-folk, as they probably use the cutlery they steal to repair their faces.
In conclusion, if you see any bone-handled forks lying around in Cambridgeshire or surrounding areas, please return in a jiffy bag to HMS Your Mother promptly.
Me: WHERE IS MY FORK?
Friend: I bet THAT bellend from Chatteris stole it.
Me: What's wrong with his face?
Friend: Oh, he's from Chatteris.
Me: Do you know any silversmiths?
Friend: Yes, they all live in Chatteris.