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1 definition by beaman,dude

 
1.
noun - an annoying college roommate. often, the roman will attempt to create uncomfortable homo-emotional moments between the roommates due to its periodic menstrual cycle. a roman can be identified with one or more of the following attributes: catching stray cats and keeping them to provide its own lonely pussy with company; wearing tight clothing, especially pants to show off its camel-toe; sleeping next to a machete as a precaution so that if too much blood flows from its vagina in the middle of the night, it can cut out the swollen tampon; lighting over 42 candles and placing them around the apartment as it masturbates to the bathroom mirror in the absence of "friends"; driving a green volvo wagon at high speeds with the windows down to air out its flapping vagina; in cases where its roommates leave it to run away, a roman will lock itself in its room for days as it cries in a whisper to its vagina; a roman's pet (such as lizards or fish) will kill themselves rather than suffer the nauseating stench which its festering vagina emits on a day to day basis.

if not clear by now, a roman will inherently have a vagina. this is due to a genetic mutation caused by being born in close proximity to the broken down nuclear sites of the former soviet union i.e. Chernobyl. in the event of encountering a roman, one MUST light it with a flaming glass of vodka; this is the only way it will leave you alone.

it is an unfortunate circumstance. one cannot control contingency.
I'm sorry I trashed your couch, bro.

What the fuck, dude! Why?!?

I had to. That fucking roman wouldn't stop threatening me with his machete because I didn't care about what he named his new beta-fish. After I lit him on fire, he was so upset, his vagina exploded. There was blood everywhere.

sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me
by beaman,dude April 29, 2010