4 definitions by awnlooker
A period during which one stops drinking alcohol in an attempt to compensate for holiday-related overindulgence. May or may not last an entire month. Begins on the first wake-up after December.
by awnlooker January 12, 2015
A father age 45+ when a child is born. A fossil dad is usually unable to play with his kids due to physical limitations brought upon by advanced age. Fossil dads combine the grumpiness, intolerance, and ignorance of today's price levels of a grandparent with the lack of understanding of a regular-age dad. Infrequently spotted with fossil moms.
There are two types of fossil dads:
1) The most common by far are dads who had children with Mom 1 on a normal schedule, then shacked up with younger Mom 2 who wanted her own kids and found himself awake at 3am cleaning poop off his sleeve for the first time in 20 years.
2) Less common are the first-timers who, for reasons of religious commitment or other strictures took a little extra time to find "the right woman for him."
There are two types of fossil dads:
1) The most common by far are dads who had children with Mom 1 on a normal schedule, then shacked up with younger Mom 2 who wanted her own kids and found himself awake at 3am cleaning poop off his sleeve for the first time in 20 years.
2) Less common are the first-timers who, for reasons of religious commitment or other strictures took a little extra time to find "the right woman for him."
by awnlooker May 14, 2010
The still-attractive breasts of a mother. May be displayed prominently or left hidden for the imagination to discern. More attractive than mommaries.
"I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby." - Seth to Evan on his mom's mommy knockers, Superbad, 2007.
by awnlooker May 14, 2010
A woman who bore a child or children long past the normal human female reproductive age through the help of science. Though she presumably made the decision with high hopes the success of the resulting outcome is often doubted by both the fossil mom as well as the kid(s). Sometimes, though not necessarily, seen in the company of a fossil dad.
by awnlooker May 14, 2010