10 definitions by ass kicka

Top Definition
Baseball terms used as sexual metaphors. Most commonly referring to the bases.
1st base= Kissing, french kissing
2nd base= Groping, feeling, fingering
3rd base= Oral sex, 69, handjob, pretty much anything but all-out sex
Home run= Full-on sex, penetration

Many people have different variations for first, second, and third base.
Person 1: Yo, last night I got to 2nd base with your girlfriend!
Person 2: Well I hit a home run with your mom!

Kid: Dad, tell me about the bases!
Dad: Son... stfu
by Ass Kicka November 13, 2010
When someone is listing options and you automatically choose the first choice. This usually leads to the person doubting you or you doubting yourself, eventually causing you to switch your answer.
Mike: Yo, Shaniqua.
Shaniqua: Hey, you wanna see a movie tonight?
Mike: Sure... what movie?
Shaniqua: How about Finding Nemo, Busty Cops 4, or He's Just Not That Into You?
Mike: I like Finding Nemo...
Shaniqua: GODDAMMIT MIKE CUT THE BULLSHIT WITH YOUR FIRST CHOICE BIAS!!

Joe: Hey, man
Paublo: Hey, Joe.
Joe: You wanna put dog shit on someone's doorstep?
Paublo: Sure. You wanna hit the Jefferson's, Al Murra's, Nagaski's, or the Smith's?
Joe: The Jefferson's I guess.
Paublo: Oh.. okay.
Joe: What? Ooh... you think it's my first choice bias choosing that.
Paublo: Huh? Oh no it's just...
Joe: that's cool dude.
by Ass Kicka November 11, 2010
When you have a sand timer for something and at the very end you slam on the top so 0.00036% more sand comes out for the next millisecond. Eventually adds up to about 4.5 seconds out of your life that you didn't spend.
My little brother was brushing his teeth and when he looked away I slammed the pussy's time so when he tells anyone he brushes for 2 minutes I can correct him 'cause of The Lost Grain.
by Ass Kicka September 26, 2010
Harry Potter Syndrome (or HPS) is the phenononom when you begin to read a book (usually Harry Potter but also another interesting novel) around 11 pm. After reading a satisfying amount, you decide to go to bed. You look at your clock and realize it is now about 4 am.
John pulls into the office an hour late, with sleepy eyes.
John: Sorry guys, I got Harry Potter Syndrome last night.
Eduardo: *snicker* *snicker* Dork...
John: I guess... but Cedric died D:
Victor (who has been sitting in the corner this whole time): SHIT! THE MUGGLES KNOW!!!
by Ass Kicka November 14, 2011
This phrase is pretty much useful in any situation. It shows that you are a higher individuals than others.
In a game of baseball, Johnny has just pitched a no-hitter.
Teammate: How'd you do that?
Johnny: 'Cause I'm a Klingon, BITCH!!

A mom sends a very upset Veroniqua upstairs.
Mom: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Veroniqua: I'm a FUCKIN Klingon, BITCH!!!!
by Ass Kicka May 11, 2011
A van that, from a distance, looks like an ice cream truck filled with loads of delicious goodies. Upon closer inspection, however, it ends up seeming rather shady. Shady enough for an adult not to allow desperate children to go up to the van. The first sign is a lack of windows, then a driver with a pedosmile and/or melestache.

The fake-outs are often mistaken for the trucks, and any idiot can tell there is clearly a pedo inside.
Timmy: OH BOY!! An ice cream truck! I want a Spongebob Popsicle!

Mom: Well, if you really want to go Timmy... WAIT! Sorry, Timmy. We can't go.

Timmy: But you said...

Mom: I'm pretty sure it's an ice cream van. You'll learn about it when you're older
by Ass Kicka April 30, 2011
When the sun is hidden behind a large cloud so that the light bounces all around the edges and creates an awesome shot of heavenly clouds. Unfortunately, cell phone cameras can never capture these epic views.
Bro: Whoa, look at that cloud, man!
Man: Dude that's epic.
Bro: Like, the light and stuff bouncing around.
Man: It's a Jesus Cloud!
by Ass Kicka January 17, 2012

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