3 definitions by aspartame

Top Definition
When a guy is in public with a girl he likes, and will not leave her side because he fears she will talk to other men. Usually the girl is too attractive for him, and does not reciprocate his romantic feelings, but is leading him on for a while, probably for free drinks/purses. He is definitely only a friend, but she probably has no other prospects at the time, or has just gotten out of a bad relationship and is entertaining the idea of letting this guy date her.

How to tell if a guy is hand-cuffing

1.) The girl he is with is much too attractive for him
2.) He has a worried look on his face and keeps scanning the bar/club/mall for potential threats.
3.) They never touch or kiss, he just kind of looms in her personal bubble, hoping for more attention.

If you see a guy hand-cuffing, go talk to his girl. He won't say anything; he will just stand there quietly with a slightly sour expression on his face until you are done.
Jim: Wow, did you see that girl walk in? She's gorgeous... I think I'm gonna go talk to her.

Joe: Nah bro, she's with her boyfriend. Don't you see that guy hanging all over her?

Jim: Man, he's just hand-cuffing... See how scared he looks? He has a fauxhawk, and she probably dressed him. She needs some testosterone in her life, I'm going in.
by aspartame July 20, 2009

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The level of terrible a candidate has to be in order for Donald Trump to be elected. This level of terrible can also be applied to getting candidates elected who are equally repugnant to Donald Trump. (I.e. Roger Goodell, Timothy McVeigh, George Clooney, Primrose Everdeen, Caitlyn Jenner, or any of the Hansons.)
Bae: I saw that Jeff Gillooly is running for a seat on the Board of Rectal Thermometer Operators Local 342. Are you going to vote for him?

Drah: Nah, Bae! Gillooly is totally Hillarrible, and I wouldn't vote for him if my ass depended on it!

Bae: Hillarrible? Well, in that case, let's vote for a dog like they did in Sunol!
by Aspartame August 02, 2016

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Maldonado mal-dough-nah-do

1.noun Naval
A rudderless seafaring vessel used by the Spanish Royal Navy to coax unsuspecting voyagers into leaving the mainland and never return. Most often, the unfortunate voyagers, at the mercy of the blowing wind and tumultuous ocean, died at sea for lack of direction and propelling force. However, those that would likely survive a long aimless journey fell pray to a parasitic infection that often accompanied the Maldonados, either by coincidence or design. If, by chance, one of these Maldanodos were not lost at sea, they would beach, only to be found filled with death and disease.

Origin: Spain
1690–1700; Mal - Ill, Denado - Favored (or endowed)

1.noun Law.
the performance by a public official of an act that is legally unjustified, harmful, or contrary to law; wrongdoing (used especially of an act in violation of a public trust).
1. The Maldonado was filled with hundreds of farmers who believed they were going to a better land, only to die at sea while chewing on their shipmate's leg.

2. The Austrian Governor committed a 1st degree Maldonado.
by Aspartame May 18, 2013

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