1 definition by antipenguinconspiracy

Top Definition

Every year, thousands of chickens are mistreated, and forced to dress up in tuxedos. Why? Because people refuse to accept that penguins don't exist, and corporate America is taking advantage of this by creating funds to help protect penguins! How can we protect whats not real!? The media is only furthering this lie with movies like "Happy Feet". America's children are being tricked into thinking that penguins are real! The truth must be heard!

Sure, some of you may say "Hey penguins exist, I've seent them at the Zoo" WRONG!!! That was a chicken forced to dress in tuxedos. It is a common misconception for people to confuse penguins with chickens in tuxedos. Tuxedo chickens are being shipped to the Arctic every year to further this lie. And as my colleague Dr. Hu pointed out, in these frozen tundras the chickens freeze to death, and even worse the tuxedos that they are wearing are dry clean only, forcing the chickens to constantly buy new tuxedos.

Please, stop the ignorance! Expand the truth, tell your neighbors, friends, family, and co-workers the truth about penguins! Maybe someday the lie well be swept from this planet, and the poor tuxedo chickens can go back to their recently expanded cages (thanks to prop 2).

Many still argue that penguins do exist, so let me ask those "believers".
"How do you prove the existence of an airplane?"
You will undoubtedly answer "I have been within an airplane, therefore proving that they exist. How can one be present in something that does not exist."
I therefore respond "Have you ever been in a penguin?"

Dr.Long gave further evidence to their nonexistence by simply stating "Penguins are not in the Bible, therefore they do not exist".

Furthermore "Penguins" are not only chickens forced into tuxedos, but they are starved chickens, otherwise why would they be so slim?
Saying that penguins exist is like saying unicorns exist, they just don't.
by antipenguinconspiracy November 18, 2008

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