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17 definitions by anthony sheppard

 
1.
the (often annoying to others who don't share it) overly happy attitude of early birders - often associated with a great eagerness to call 7am committee meetings and to embark on sales-related shopping trips that mimic dawn raids on enemy encampments
"it's his earlybirditude i can't stand - he doesn't seem to realize that if i'm awake at 6am it's because i'm still up from the day before, not because i had a sudden urge to go running"

"only the most manic earlybirditude could make the shopping mall seem appealing the morning after thanksgiving"
by Anthony Sheppard November 24, 2006
 
2.
Even more stunningly annoying and inappropriately intrusive than micromanagement.
Would you quit with the f***ing nanomanagement and just let me do my job - you seriously don't have enough to do if you have time to crawl up my a** about every little detail ... Sir.
by Anthony Sheppard April 16, 2005
 
3.
The annoying individual who claims to be interested or expert in almost any topic that anybody else in a group refers to as cool, often to the extent that their involvement in so many activities and interests, or in a more oscure pursuit or fetish, may seem dubious.
"Hangliding looks cool" eliciting the response "Oh, I LOVE to hanglide, I'm an experienced hangliderist!"

or

"I have a friend who is into CBT" followed by "Ooo, CBT is the coolest - I do it all the time!" leading the original speaker to ask the perceived coolness whore to define CBT in semi-polite company.

At their worst, a perceived coolness whore might stumble, late, into a conversation about female contraceptives or male pattern baldness and, upon hearing a prescription drug name, will claim to have once done lines of the afore-mentioned drug off the back of a hooker at a Hollywood party.
by Anthony Sheppard July 31, 2006
 
4.
news reporting in a style that mimics entertainment (or sometimes sports) reporting - often involving flashy graphics, individual theme music for particular stories/topics, and a general eagerness that makes the cynic within all of us suspect that news directors secretly yearn for disasters on a grand scale* - also, news stories that are heralded by promotional soundbites earlier in a day/evening's programming that could have been quite informative but instead are frustratingly lacking in information and designed not to inform on the topic at hand but merely to tease in regard to the upcoming broadcast and, presumably, increase viewership

*this is now so prevalent that it is routinely spoofed on fake news shows and segments and the joke is quite obvious
story taglines, using election coverage as an example:
real - "Decision 2000"
spoof - "Indecision 2000"

promotional messages such as "this regular household substance could be killing you and your children - is it in your kitchen? - more at 11pm"
by Anthony Sheppard June 03, 2005
 
5.
an eclectic collection
I have quite an eclection of mp3s.
by Anthony Sheppard January 06, 2004
 
6.
erotic correspondence - especially online
she was late to work after a late night online with her erotespondent

he found it hard to type while erotesponding due to frenetic manual multi-tasking

chat rooms are venues for blatant erotespondence
by Anthony Sheppard November 26, 2005
 
7.
v. to goldilocks: to try out multiple options or variations, often without paying for any or all of them, until one finds one that is "just right"
She goldilocksed her way around the theater until she found a seat she liked.

He was so, like, goldilocksing through the pants rack and now I have to fold them all.

I've never been here before, so I'll just goldilocks until I find a sweet spot.

After all of the goldilocksing of tracks, he found his favorite song and acquired quite an eclection of music.
by Anthony Sheppard June 23, 2005