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13 definitions by alana post

 
1.
Etymology: From the Saturday Night Live character Debbie Downer, played by Rachel Dratch

Function: Noun

1. a: a person who says something terribly depressing (a downer), typically only tangentially related to the present circumstance or topic of conversation, and thereby destroys the positive atmosphere. b: a statement that is charactaristic of Debbie Downer

Usage note: In the skit, following each downer Debbie voices, a trombone plays a "wah waaah" (sad trombone) sound effect and the camera zooms in on Debbie Downer's face, which is twisted in comic despair.
Debbie Downer: Hey, does anyone have a banana?

Friend #1: What?

Debbie Downer: Well, if I don't get enough potassium every day, I awaken in the middle of the night by crippling leg cramps.

(higher-pitched wah wahhhhhhh; zoom in)

(everyone looks pissed off)

Debbie Downer: By the way, it's official -- they've located my birth mother. Deceased.

(deeper wah wahhhhhhhh; zoom in on a particularly painful facial expression)
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
 
2.
an unfortunate occurance that is both uniquely feminine in nature and very urgent.
Janice, cover for me! I'm having a shemergency and need to buy some tampons and Shout wipes ASAP!
by Alana Post August 29, 2005
 
3.
Variant: therafloozie

Etymology: portmanteau of Theraflu® and floozy

1. any person, typically a young woman, whose moral judgements become increasingly hampered by the administration of cold/flu medication.
"I never would have hooked up with Stephen in the copier room if it hadn't been for all that Theraflu®," Linda sighed. "Now the whole office knows that I'm a therafloozy."
by Alana Post August 31, 2005
 
4.
Etymology: portmanteau of 'accoutrement' and 'cooter'

1 a : EQUIPMENT, TRAPPINGS; specifically : a woman's unmentionables, hygiene products, piercings or other accessories specifically designed for the female sex organs -- usually used in plural b : an adornment, item of clothing, or collection of hygienic equipment -- usually used in plural
2 archaic : the act of acootering
3 : an identifying and often superficial characteristic or device pertaining to a vagina -- usually used in plural
Sally asked me for a tampon, but unfortunately I left home this morning sans acooterments.
by Alana Post August 31, 2005
 
5.
Function: Noun
Etymology: Portmanteau of shame and anus.

1. a: Judging the anus to be obscene b: the susceptibility to such feelings.

It came about as a result of the anus being photoshopped out of many images of female nudes across the internet, and the lasting psychological damage it caused on the women thus depicted.
The shanus Suicide Girls models must feel right now must be palpable; how awful to be buttholed by both their own website and the FBI.
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
 
6.
Function: noun

Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.

1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
 
7.
function: verb

etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.

1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently

Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.

Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
by Alana Post October 13, 2005