Rick Pitino: "Because I pulled a Sticky Ricky."
Attorney: "What? What is that? Please explain to the court."
Rick Pitino: "I spilled my load down the front of my $6000 suit pants before I could move around to unload on her leathery breasts. So the kid ain't mine."
Attorney: "Whoa, wait a second. You only penetrated her for 15 seconds, and yet still managed to ejaculate on yourself?"
Rick Pitino: "Yes."