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7 definitions by Zopwx2

 
1.
1)A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules or conditions.

2) A contradictory or self-defeating course of action.

3) Novel by Joseph Heller.
"You're wasting your time," Doc Daneeka was forced to tell him.
"Can't you ground someone's who's crazy?"

"Oh sure, I have to. There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy."

"Then why don't you ground me. Ask Clevinger."

"Clevinger? Where is Clevinger? You find Clevinger and I'll ask him."

"Then ask any of the others. They'll tell you how crazy I am."

"They're crazy."

"Then why don't you ground them?"

"Why don't they ask me to ground them?"

"Because they're crazy, that's why."

"Of course they're crazy," Doc Daneeka replied. "I just told you they're crazy didn't I? And you can't let crazy people decide whether you're crazy or not can you?"

Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. "Is Orr crazy?"
"He sure is," Doc Daneeka said.

"Can you ground him?"

"I sure can but first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule."

"Then why doesn't he ask you to?"

"Because he's crazy," Doc Daneeka said. "He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to."

"That's all he has to do to be grounded?"

"That's all. Let him ask me."

"And then you can ground him?" Yossarian asked.

"No, then I can't ground him."

"You mean there's a catch?"

"Sure there is a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, that specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of the clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka replied.
by zopwx2 June 20, 2004
735 107
 
2.
A series of tubes, not a big truck.
They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material...

Ten movies streaming across that, internet, and what happens to your own personal internet? I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?
by Zopwx2 July 31, 2006
235 47
 
3.
Quite possibly the most awesome man in existence, its a shame you don't know him.
Like a spider on a hot stove!
by zopwx2 September 27, 2004
54 10
 
4.
A type of comedy where they make many random and vague references to many other shows/books/movie/etc. So that when a passing reference by one character is recognized by you, it makes you feel cool knowing you are one of a very few people who caught that very obscure reference. The reason its called nerd comdy is becuase only smart (or nerdy people) will be able to catch enough references to find the show funny, while a stupid person would wonder why this is funny becuase he/she does not recognize any of the referneces.
Mystery Science Theatre 3k
by Zopwx2 March 24, 2004
35 6
 
5.
Hah! You'd like to know what it means wouldn't you....
Zopwx2 continues to mystify experts from all over the world.
by zopwx2 September 27, 2004
30 19
 
6.
A concept album by Electric Light Orchestra, released in 1981.
I met someone who looks a lot like you,
She does the things you do, but she is an IBM
by Zopwx2 August 27, 2005
23 13
 
7.
A awesome expletive I made up myself. It rolls of the tounge if said right.
FUCKADABITCHDAMSHABBAT! I hate calculus.
by zopwx2 November 07, 2004
25 17