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13 definitions by ZonaCat Hansen

 
1.
A pretentious, bohemian wanna-be, who frequents various coffee shops. He loves to spout his artiste-poseur opinions loudly in everyday conversation to anyone who will listen, so that his strong opinions can be heard by random strangers that he pines to impress. Almost always knows less than he tries so hard to convey. Usually has a laptop hooked up to wi-fi, yet rarely if ever touches the keyboard. Prefers to sit outside at the sidewalk table if possible so that he can be seen by as many cool locals as possible. Prides himself of being hip as evidenced by donning the latest trendy, hipster, hair-do. i.e., dreadlocks, shaved head, etc...
The "java-hipster" raved loudly to his nose-ringed buddies about the latest Johnny Depp film as the irritated cafe patrons feigned a yawn in his direction to show obvious annoyance at his pathetic attempts to be heard by all.
by ZonaCat Hansen July 10, 2008
 
2.
An angry, invidious, regressive, hate-driven person who thrives on conflict and abhors anything intelligent, enlightening, factual, logical, rational, fair, balanced, liberal, progressive and non-passion-based.

A person who is driven by their passion-based beliefs and who hates sound intelligent reasoning.

i.e.,
Joe discovered that he could effortlessly rile a "neoconanderthal" by merely pointing out several, key, intelligent facts that proved to all that Sarah Palin was simply just not knowledgeable enough to ever be deemed a serious candidate in any future Presidential election.
by ZonaCat Hansen August 30, 2009
 
3.
The act of completely forgetting the name of an actor, song, book, movie or name of anything that one is generally familiar with. The "on-the-tip-of-my-tongue" phenomenon. The 'mind-burp' is the moment of relief, the actual recall. i.e., "Aha! I got it! I remember!"
The movie buff had a bad case of "cerebral constipation" as he choked under pressure when the cute waitress asked him for the name of his favorite romantic comedy.
by ZonaCat Hansen July 10, 2008
 
4.
Like a docudrama, a "docucomedy" is an accurate reenactment of a true-life story. However, for a filmmaker, a "docucomedy" is far more challenging than a docudrama as the comedic moments and funny dialogue peppered throughout "had to have really happened." i.e., They must be real and naturally occurring not fabricated.

Sometimes, the dry, fact-based, narrative of Detective Joe Friday (upon questioning a stoned hippie) in the TV police docudrama, "Dragnet," contained some elements of a "docucomedy."

Nonetheless, a "docucomedy" is not to be confused with the comedic mockumentary genre that includes films such as "Borat," "Spinal Tap" or "Mail Order Wife."
For people who truly believe that their life story is a full-on, human comedy or if they think that last year's vacation in China (looking for their future spouse) was a "non-stop, barrel of laughs," perhaps they should seriously consider making a "docucomedy."
by ZonaCat Hansen November 18, 2008
 
5.
An affliction that ails men entering middle age, usually evidenced by a swollen head that was not present in their teens or twenties. As best can be determined, SHS is caused by a lifetime of a diet high in animal fats and high sodium intake.
After watching William Shatner in "Star Trek" and John Travolta in "Welcome Back Kotter," then again seeing them both over twenty years later in "Boston Legal" and "Pulp Fiction," it was clear that both venerable actors suffered from Swollen Head Syndrome (SHS).
by ZonaCat Hansen July 10, 2008
 
6.
The moment of relief when on has made a breakthrough on their "cerebral constipation." The "aha, I remember" phenomenon when one finally, remembers what they have struggling to remember.
After being asked what mafia film won Best Picture 1972, the movie buff, after struggling for 27 minutes, finally had a "mind burp" as he cried out, I got it, I got, "the Godfather!"
by ZonaCat Hansen July 10, 2008
 
7.
1. inordinate over-fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one's feelings, desires, etc.; egoistic self-absorption.
3. Slang. a contemptibly naive, fatuous, foolish, or inconsequential person.
4. Psychoanalysis. delusional gratification derived from over-admiration of one's own imagined superior physical abilities, usually this solipsistic self-absorption syndrome is outgrown after adolescence, in rare cases will continue into adulthood.

Synonyms:
1. fool, half-wit; imbecile; dolt, dunce, numskull, solipsist, egomaniac, diva, narcissist.

Origin: named after Michael Crabtree, a wide receiver drafted by the San Francisco 49ers as the 10th pick out of Texas Tech in the 2009 NFL Draft. Despite being offered a 20 million dollar contract, he has become the second-longest NFL rookie holdout in two decades.
The new actor on 'All My Children' was intent on getting paid the same pay as the show's highest paid actress, Susan Lucci. The producers of the long-running soap opera told the actor's agent, "Why is your client trying to be a 'Crabtree?' He is lucky to be given such a great opportunity!"
by ZonaCat Hansen September 24, 2009